Welcome back all you SSS participants!
For those who don't know what that is, go check out the link and read some more snippets. Warning: not every submission (or site) should be read by those under the age of 18.
Last time, Simon fled the room when he couldn't take anymore of Faith's screaming and pushed his brother out into the hallway.
Hector’s face was white, but Simon stood staring at the frosted, grey glass door, one hand braced against the metal rails. The echos of her shrieks were still ringing through his ears, cutting through the veins and shredding the meat of his brain. After five days he had yet to meet a person in that room, only an empty shell or a raging squall, and each time he was stunned at how quickly she swung between the two extremes.
“This isn’t working, Simon, she’s just getting worse. What will we do? The madam said - ”
veins and shredding the meat of his brain - oh my can feel that - very descriptive and can feel the tension too - they seem to be failing at their task....
ReplyDeleteCool! What a neat idea. I've just been perusing your blog here and it's nice to meet you. I just read HG for the first time this year too. Pretty cool you used to work for a video game studio. My MG story I just wrote has a lot to do with video games. I like your MG idea on your other page. You should go with it... would be unique for sure!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you along the campaign trail. Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)
Wow, intense, and such vivid description.
ReplyDeleteWhat did the madam say?? No fair leaving us hanging, lol
Poor girl, she is having a very, very bad time.
ReplyDeleteLove this: "…only an empty shell or a raging squall…" Very elegant.
ReplyDeleteWow, excellent description, loved it!
ReplyDeleteFantastic descriptions! And the woman is a feisty one. Wow!
ReplyDeleteWow, wow, wow. Tense. Great six!
ReplyDeleteIntense! Waiting to see where it's going
ReplyDeleteVery interesting!. I'm still trying to get a sense of place here. Is Faith a prisoner?
ReplyDeleteVery tense. I can really feel the pain and desperation.
ReplyDeleteExcellent six, so suspensful. I love it!
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful six, with an equally tantalising hook. Great stuff
ReplyDeleteSuch a vivid description. I can see it all. Lovely six!
ReplyDeleteGreat description of how the screaming ws effecting him
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling sorry for both Faith and Simon. And a madam? Is it that kind of "madam?" The plot really thickens if so. Great six!
ReplyDeleteYou really left us hanging! Not fair. LOL. Well-written six. Enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI like the effect you described, "cutting through the veins and shredding the meat of his brain." Wow, that's some shrieking.
ReplyDeleteGreat descriptive six.
ReplyDeleteSo very visceral, I love it! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love 'empty shell or a raging squall'. You've really painted a vivid scene with the last few posts and intrigued me with these characters. Terrific six, as always!
ReplyDeleteYour descriptions are so visual and arresting - great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat description. Curious to read more.
ReplyDeleteoohh, very intense! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post, especially the part about her shrieks - very intense!
ReplyDeleteI'll echo a few other comments and say I loved the empty shell/raging squall imagery. Looking forward to reading more! :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent description! You've done a great job, and can't wait to read more
ReplyDeleteVery vivid scene, love it.
ReplyDelete