Where surprises take you

Well, the thing I didn't expect to happen on Saturday, but did... it makes sense now why the story veered off-path, and I see it coming back on track shortly. In fact, I see it hooking up with this scene soon.

That's the thing I love most about pantsing. I really do trust my brain to know where things are headed, even if the knowledge exists in the spiderwebby crooks, far out of reach from my probing, questioning consciousness.

Somehow, if I just keep writing, I get there.

Oh, and there are now a couple of new secondary characters in the cast... including the cutest tiny soccer playing Korean girl EVER... too bad Jay proves, yet again, to be a complete and total ass... She will be back though, 'cause I like writing her :D

I don't base characters on people I know in real live, but there is a bit of her that's reminiscent of a couple friends I had in high-school (both Korean), and a friend of mine now who is very tiny (4'10") and plays soccer (she's Spanish though... and I was also thinking of her a lot when writing Donny's 'Mexican-jokes', as she hates it when people assume she's Mexican).

It's more the attitude/personality that all those three friends have in common than inspired this one side character, where I can imagine any of them reading her dialogue out loud and it sounding 'right'.


Not so much favourites, but a couple of very "Jay" lines:

Platitudes really aren’t my thing, and that’s what apologies are. Meaningless, trite, and rarely interesting, even if they are supposed to hold significance of some kind.

While I can appreciate that Kell may have misunderstood, I still don’t think I was wrong.

Another thing about apologies, they’re rarely genuine. Instead, they’re simply a tactic to reach compromise.

Things I looked up today in Google:

Sennelier oil paint, the brand made and sold in Paris near École des Beaux-Arts, and used by Monet, Gauguin, Matisse, Picasso, and others -> Jay is just entitled enough to use the same paint the *greats* used, and I wanted a consistent 'pallet' of colours in which he 'sees' the world around him, but I'm not going to worry about that until my first round of edits.

I know most paint you buy now is synthetic pigments, but I wanted a refresher of which ones used to have stuff like arsenic in them (greens) and other toxic minerals like lead (whites), cadmium (red/yellow), and cobalt (blues).

Google failed me in answering one question: I couldn't find if they still use gold as a component in some purple paints... I know they do in oil paints for porcelain, but I'm not sure about for canvas painting as the minerals in porcelain paints actually fuse into the surface during firing, which obviously, isn't the case with canvas. It's not a big deal since it would be such a tiny detail to put in, so I'm just going to move forward and perhaps do a more thorough search during edits.


Things I did today instead of writing:

I watched the second tv episode of 'Dracula', and episode #3 of 'Reign'. I've never really been a big tv watcher (haven't bothered with cable in years...), but these two shows looked interesting enough that I'll give them a fair chance.

I went out and bought pet food. Berkeley (thankfully) has not been throwing up the latest brand of chicken food I bought a couple weeks ago... he's plain refused to eat it and has noticeably lost weight. SO, I managed to hunt up a store that sells the old brand he used to eat in Victoria... sigh... fingers crossed?

Had lunch out with my mom :)

I bought a timer so a small light in my bedroom will turn on about 30 minutes before my alarm goes off. I've done this in the past around November, because when I wake up in the pitch dark, all I want to do is slug in bed and I'm drowsy all day. Having the light already on when I wake up seems to counteract that and fool my brain & body into thinking I've slept more than I really have. Boo, Industrial Revolution... I'd rather go back to the pre-IR days when people got up with the sun, no matter what time of year.

Slapping characters and being surprised

Number of times I've wanted to slap Jay for the elitist, arrogant crap that falls out of his mouth:

4

Things about Donny that surprised me today:

He's popular!
He knows Kell's real name!
He has her phone number...?

Things that I was expecting to happen in this writing day, which didn't:

Kell going to Jay's place and, y'know, moving the plot forward...

Things I was NOT expecting to happen, which did:

Jay... pulling another idiotic stunt out of frustration/misguided jealousy/loneliness


Things I REALLY hope no one ever thinks are my own opinions:

Jay's outlook towards his private school
Jay's opinion of the girls who attend said school... wow, bitter much?
Jay's opinion of... well, everyone...


EDIT: Things I found out, and now have to go back and change:

The story timeline... which will mean a lot of tinkering with existing description/etc. See, the PSA contest deadline is the beginning of March... and since this story currently starts around the middle of March... yeah, I'll have to go back and work all that around the contest deadline so he has a reasonable time to actually paint something.

The power of Google, vomit jokes, and the 'A-word'

Things I looked up today on Google while hitting, and then exceeding the daily NaNo wordcount goal:

École des Beaux-Arts/École nationale supérieure des Beaux-Arts
the hippocampus

Japanese hand saws

Number of vomit jokes written:

 2, including one involving a cat.

Number of times I typed the 'A-word': 

4

Number of times Kell has screwed with Jay's head (and rightly so):

3

Favourite line(s) of the day:

Oh shit. I'm going to have to take my pants off.

"Abracadabra my ass."

"Those tight panties of yours aren't just cutting off the flow of blood to your balls, they're cutting off your sense of humour, too."

(okay, why, when Jay and Donny get together do they act/talk like they're 12?)

Favourite image(s) of the day:

Donny in a pink frilly apron making sandwiches.

Things I found out that I didn't know already:

Jay's run out of scars... now what?

Somehow, Kell has more patience than I thought... I was expecting a blow-up by now.

Things I want to know:

When is Kell going to blow-up? It's kinda gotta happen soon...

NOW, it's time to walk Eva as it's 5:27pm and normally we're back from our second walk by this time.

Writerly update

First, I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year again, but will probably only commit to a half-NaNo (so, 25,000 words instead of 50,000). I'm going to probably make headway in "Scarlight", but I'm also thinking of (perhaps) re-writing "Left & Right" from scratch (after reading Patrick Ness' "A Monster Calls" I am sort of itching to get back to this), or re-reading "Afraid of the Dark" and seeing if I can figure out why I got stuck, and whether that is something that can be overcome, or something that resigns this particular story to the proverbial trunk.

If you're doing NaNo, and wish to stalk me, I am here.

Second, I did sign up for the SIWC, which is the last weekend in October. I honestly have no idea what to expect as this is my first writing conference ever. I'm equal parts nervous and excited.

Third, I am eyeball-deep in reading/critiquing a full manuscript for someone. Well, I should be eyeball-deep, but I'm actually only up to my ankles. I'm hoping to get it done by the end of the weekend... but let's just wait and see :)


Now, your turn. What writerly adventures are you up to? What goals are in your future?

Dead monkey... month?

I know I've been MIA recently. There's been a couple factors.

First, the preparation to semi-move (part-time) to Vancouver, and all the holiday planning involved, including scheduling around 3 Seahawks games, several birthdays, and numerous dinners/get-togethers, some of which are business related, most are personal, but they are spread across both Victoria and Vancouver.

Second, health problems acting up. Yeah, that old stuff again. Including the high levels of pain.

Third, I've just started going for decompression* treatments for some old back injuries. I decided to go because muscle weakness, tingle/numbness, and pain through my dominant arm isn't making typing a heck of a lot of fun. I'm currently banned from running, or any kind of activity that jars the spine, which disappoints me greatly as I had plans to snowboard with my bro-in-law on Boxing Day (for those non-Canadians, that's the day after Christmas). That was going to be our gift to each other -> spending a day, just the two of us, having fun on the mountain.

Fourth, I'm kinda bummed/burnt out about writing right now. I was rather disappointed in my poor showing with NaNo this year, both the word count itself, and the quality of writing produced. It was a good, stiff kick in the ego, and my knee-jerk-response is to curl up and hide for a while while the bruises heal. This means less activity online, but it also means I haven't re-read 'Brake Fluid' (like I was going to when NaNo ended), or thought/planned any further about the possibility of querying.

So please forgive my sporadic appearances online for a while, and I may take a little longer replying to emails.

How's everyone else's December shaping up? Anyone travelling to see family/friends, or hosting visitors? For those who just finished NaNo, how'd you do? Did you meet your goals? How are you feeling? Full of energy/motivation, or burnt out like I am?



* Decompression therapy refers to decompressing the spine. The bones of the spine are separated by discs, and over time, the discs can become compressed which pinch the nerves, and, if untreated, eventually the discs can rupture and the spine can fuse. Decompression therapy pulls the spine apart, which forces the discs to draw in nutrients from the surrounding tissues, thus re-inflating the discs. It's similar to traction, but instead of simply pulling the spine apart and holding it, in decompression therapy, they use a computer to change the weight/pull, and control it in measured bursts. Basically, it's a pumping motion, which allows a greater draw of nutrients into the discs. Here's a link for further information, if my explanation was hard to understand.

The fight of the year

I swear, I don't think I've fought this much with a first draft... ever.

I think it's because the entire story is "so-unlike-me". It's a battle, twisting these characters out of my brain. Nothing comes naturally. They think differently, speak differently, behave differently, and I'm constantly questioning myself... am I doing this right? Is this correct? Is that how they'd really act/choose/argue/etc?

Don't get me wrong, I'm still having fun, I'm still enjoying the challenge of working on something difficult and unusual (for me), and I think I finally can appreciate the concept of *writer's block* a little more, because I don't think I've ever really had it before.

Sure, there have been plenty of times when I didn't know what would happening next in a story, but I would always just take a break and wait until the words came again, or I would jump ahead and write scenes I did know, and would figure out how to connect them up later.

I can't do that this time.

These characters are so different, I can't jump ahead because I really don't know how they would act... I don't know how they will get to where they need to go, and how they will have changed by the time they have gotten there.

I suppose, since I don't fully understand them, I don't have a clear idea of their character arcs.

...which never happens. Normally, I only need to get a few pages into a new story, and their arc is clear.

This time... I'm closing in on 20,000 words (don't ask what I should be at to *win* NaNo...) and I still don't know what major change they will go through. I don't know what they will have to give up/sacrifice, what wounds they will endure, what hard choices they will make...

I think this is the first time I have a better idea of what the plot is than what the characters *are*.


Probably, some of this not-knowing is because this is an unusually stressful/busy month for me, where my brain is only putting about 5% of its total energy into this story, as evident by my absurdly low word-count... but hey, I'm typing this from the ferry... again... because I haven't had a moment to write at home all week.

Changing the conditions will obviously change the outcome. In this case, since I seem to only get time to write on the ferry, a very public, noisy place,  when I normally I write at home in perfect solitude/silence/no distractions, my concentration level, and my writing, are obviously not going to be the same.

Strangely, I think because of the constant distractions, I'm finding it easier to write quick/argumentative dialogue and action sequences... maybe because of all the nose/activity, but it's much harder to keep track of things like emotional/personal changes/connections/etc.


Where do you normally write? Do you switch it up? Do you find it's easier to write some kind of scenes in specific circumstances, and other scenes in other places? How do you find writing in public vs. private spaces? Noise vs. quiet?

Okay, NOW I'm back...

Until Thursday at least ;)

Thankfully, the furniture was delivered (with one major hitch), and I managed to get on a ferry last night (though 4 hours later than I intended). It was nice to sleep in a real bed again :)

While waiting around, I managed to get an almost-5,000-word-writing-day in yesterday, though I'm still about 12,000 words short of where I *should* be according to the NaNo schedule.

Half-insane with exhaustion, I managed to complete the crow-goddess scene I posted (part of) a few days ago and get a little further while on the ferry home last night. This isn't all of it, but I'm starting to get a handle on the temperament of the gods/monsters in this story, and I think this crow goddess is going to be a larger part of the story than I originally intended.

Right now though, too much of my own voice is coming out in the writing... a natural product of being overtired. The whole thing feels too distant, which I know is something I struggle with as a writer, this tendency to add too *adult-a-voice* in the wording/descriptions/etc... which is something that distinctively separates YA from adult stories.

I find it to be very difficult work, to go in and rip apart scenes like this to create a better connection between reader and characters. I think that's probably the biggest change between a fresh first-draft, and the single editing-pass I always make before handing it off to my CP's/beta-readers.

With heavy footfalls, Komil ran through the snow and stopped at my side. He bent low, using his spear to prop himself up as he tried to catch his breath. “Those bastards,” he exhaled the words between gasps, “attacking you out of nowhere.”

Mica circled around and fell on the birds I had cut, his teeth tearing the wings from their bodies as he devoured them.

The birds in the tree grew louder, their sharp sounds of displeasure resonating through the trees.

“Little human,” the crow lady spoke, “you would try to make a god?”

***

I wasn’t sure how to answer the crow goddess’ question. Yes, wasn’t right, but neither was no. To say it was a mistake, or an accident seemed vulgar, or blasphemous.

Komil was no help at all. He just shrugged, but kept the bow ready and an arrow notched.

Mica had already eaten the crows I had cut down, and was now ripping apart the ones Komil had shot. His paws held the arrows still as he crunched through their rib cages, then pulled their bodies free of the wooden shaft with a swift shake of his jaws.

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing I could think to say that I truly meant.

A few crows spread their wings and slid through the air to a lower branch. I was starting to see it, how small groups of movements within the flock could nearly mimic the body language of a single crow.

“For what?”

I nodded at Mica. “For killing part of you.”

Clusters of wings beat the air, but not a single black body rose to flight. Their sharp claws held tight to the knotted bark, their heads turning left and right. They watched me with a hundred single eyes, but the intensity of their gaze felt like a thousand.

“I will breed and nest this summer. I will grow larger and stronger. Take heed, little human, not all gods devour their own to gain strength.”

Her words were strange, but then what did I know of gods? “Only the young and the weak?”

She laughed, in that off-kilter chaos of croaks and cackles. “And the foolish.” A section of crows side-stepped together, their beaks clacking in unison. “Or if the opportunity happens to present itself.”

“Ah.” I thought about it. “Like it did with me, just a few minutes ago?”

“You are not a god, little human.”

“No, but I still might taste good.”

There was another jarring laugh. “It’s a pity you had allies.”

...and back on the rock

Home again.

Hoping to get some writing done tomorrow.

Now, it's time for sleep.

Hope everyone else doing NaNo (or working on other projects) were more productive than me this weekend... and I'm off again starting Thursday, back Saturday.

...I better use my time Wednesday as efficiently as possible ;)

On my way out

Well, by my calculation, I'll lose somewhere between 10 and 14 writing days this month due to travel.

I'm just about to run for the ferry, and won't be back until sometime Tuesday, probably late evening.

This happened last year too, and the year before, which is why I've been sticking to half-NaNo's (25,000 words instead of 50,000) the past several years since I'm often away 50% of the month.

...did I catch up on my word count yesterday? Not a chance :) I don't think I even got a thousand words in...

BUT, I managed to get past the sticking point I hit a couple days ago with this scene:
(Mica's a dog... just so ya know)

NaNo, first-drafts, and pantsing-process

It's been a while since I've worked on a first draft. I think I finished the 'Brake Fluid' draft sometime back in June (too lazy to check/confirm at this moment), and since then, I have been single-mindedly editing/re-reading/polishing/etc.

It feels a little weird to be working on a first draft again. Like, if you've injured your dominant hand, and have to use the other one for a while. You know all the motions, but the angle and strength are different. You have to think about what you do it instead of just doing it. Everything seems slower and less efficient.

Yup, that's what first-drafting feels like to me, as a pantser.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing them, because I get the change to discover new stories, new characters, new worlds. I write to find these things... which is why I get no pleasure from plotting/planning ahead of time.

But it's still difficult.

I still have moments (lots of them in fact) when I get so frustrated with myself for not knowing what happens next... when I'm stuck mid-scene with no idea what the next line of dialogue could be.

Today was full of moments like that. I took a lot of breaks, did laundry, washed dishes, brought in more wood and kindling for the fireplace. I read blogs, checked email... played solitaire on my phone (I may have a slight addiction...).

I barely scraped in 1,700 words. I'm still short by 866 words from being on target, but the word count isn't what's frustrating me.

It's not knowing how the very last scene I wrote connects with that 'lady of crows' scene I wrote a few days ago. I'm not sure if they are separated by a day, or a week of in-novel-time. I don't know if my characters head north, or south, or if they argue and go in two different directions.

So what did I do to raise my word count today by those measly 1,700 words? I went back and fleshed out earlier scenes, ones that were so sparse, they were little more than dialogue and a few transition sentences. I looked for parts I had written earlier than now needed to be changed. For where I automatically typed 'day' when what I meant was 'night'. I gave Mica some of the qualities that drive me crazy in my own dog (the beagle).

Apparently that's part of my process. Write sparsely, then when I open the file the next day, I go back over the previous day's scenes, fill them in, and get myself back into the head-space of the story that way.

Or that's how it should work, normally.

I didn't beat myself up, but I'm disappointed in my progress. I wish I had caught up and surpassed the 8th day word count goal of 13,333 words, especially since I'll be gone this coming weekend and will lose another 2 days of writing time, plus more later this month.

But I also think, maybe I did just need a break today, and that should be okay.

It has been a long time since I've exercised my first-draft-muscles, and perhaps this lull is a momentary rest for my brain.

Maybe when I wake up tomorrow, I'll know who Issa bartered with, and what they wanted with the snow-bear coat. Maybe I'll know if the crow-lady goddess will help, or hinder their travels, or what changes Mica is going to go through now that he's developed a taste for god-flesh...


How is everyone else doing? Do you find it hard to get back into writing first-drafts after spending time editing/polishing a story? How are you other NaNo-participants doing?

Gods & monsters

I've always been fascinated by the intertwining of gods and monsters in Indigenous cultures. For some, a wolf can be a deadly enemy, for others, a protective totem spirit.

I've never been drawn to human-esque monsters, like zombies, vampires, angels, demons, and things like that, because the impulse is to make them too human. Even with half-animal/human monsters (like werewolves, for example), the focus is usually on the warring sides: human vs beast.

I think I've always been more interested in just the beast.

Which is probably why I keep circling back to characters like the crow-goddess in this particular story. The gods and monsters in Project #5 are nothing like humans. A couple nights ago, I woke up at 2am to send myself this short email reminder: "Gods & monsters exactly the same, just humans give offerings to one, and the other take offerings on their own."

Whether it's a god or a monster is purely from the human's perspective, the gods/monsters stay true to their nature, which (for animals) is totally a survival of the fittest world. They're never concerned about what's right, what's wrong, or what's fair.

For a long time, even as I finished writing BF, sent it to my CP's, took it back, edited/polished it/etc, I have been itching to write this crow goddess, who is a single god, but whose body is made up of an entire flock (or murder) of crows. Even though she's 'a lady', I don't want her to have an ounce of humanity, I want her to be true to her calculative-nature where, if she sees an advantage, she'll attack without mercy.

Here's a rough scene I skipped ahead to write, the gaps are there because I haven't filled in the text in those spots. Yes, my writing completely sucks at this stage and I'm sure it's full of errors :P

2,500 words added

..1,900 more to catch up.

But I need a break now.

Time to haul the dog to the park for a good run.

Hope everyone else is having a good, productive day of writing :)


...also, I totally gave in and skipped ahead to write part of a scene with the lady of crows... and yes, I was channeling a little Hitchcockian flavour for that meeting ;)

I might post a piece of it tomorrow.

NaNo Day 6

Since Alcar asked for an excerpt (sorry, not at the lady of crows part yet), here's a taste of Project #5. This morning I've written about 1,000 words, but I've still got about 4,000 to go for me to catch up. Yesterday I was so exhausted I couldn't even write one sentence and ended up going to bed at 7:15pm, so deliriously tired that I set the alarm an hour earlier than necessary AND left two chicken breasts I had been defrosting in the microwave... in the microwave all night. Yuck!

Be warned, this will be sparse, and probably full of grammar errors and run-on sentences ;) Yup... my usual brand of gloriously problematic first-draft material :) For those of you out of the loop, I'm writing my own Northern fairytale this year, which is kindof a mash-up between Inuit/Eskimo/Siberian/N. European folklore. I've got an extremely rough blurb (which reads more like an outline) on my 'What I'm Writing' page.

NaNo, day... 4?

Well, I lost 2 full days of writing.

Today was a Seahawks game (Woo-hoo: 30-20 win over the Vikings, and 4 sacks!). Since the husband had to work this weekend, I drove over to Vancouver yesterday and took my dad to the game today. Since I haven't seen my parents in... hmmm... about a month, I couldn't very well lock myself in the spare bedroom and type away madly.

Instead, I played *the good daughter* and chatted with them, watched a movie, and other expected social rituals for those who aren't crazy-shut-in-NaNo-writers.

So, tomorrow (after the 45 minute drive, the 40-60 minute wait, the 90 minute ferry ride, and the 40 minute drive home), I guess I have some catching up to do :)

How is everyone else doing? I peeked at my writing buddy stats and felt a few stabs of envy at their progress...




EDIT: oh, one cool thing, I got to point out to my dad the I-5 exit that my 'Brake Fluid' characters would have taken en route to dump Jackson's body ;)

Yes, it does exist.

...AAAAAAND, that feels good.

Can you hear the triumphant sound of angelic trumpets celebrating my victory?

Okay, I know, I know. My brain is a little screwy at the moment.

...what was my guestimated end-goal for BF?

60,000 words

...and what is my total after finishing the final page of edits?

59,678

...which means I have completed my edits, and managed to make my NaNo minimum wordcount goal for the day!

Waa-freakin'-hoo, this feels awesome.

Now I can finally get some new words in on Project #5.

Wow, I'm creepin' up

So far today, I've added 2,530 words to 'Brake Fluid', and I'm just about to start Chapter 17 (of 24).

My total word count is now over 58,500, and I'm pretty darn happy about the prospect of closing in on 60,000, as that was my original/guestimated goal for this story.

If I wasn't so tired right now, I'd share a crazy story with you... but the thought of typing out more words at this point... not in my top 5 of things I want to do, so I'll try to share the story tomorrow.

G'night, all, and a big "Congrats!", "Good job!", and "Well done!" for all those NaNo-ers who managed to get some words in today... even if you didn't hit the 1667 daily minimum :)

...you've started, and for many people, that's the hardest part.

Go to sleep early and wake up refreshed for another day of mad writing.

November can't come soon enough...

Right now, I'm waiting on the last few 'Brake Fluid' readers to send comments back. I hope to finish this next round of changes before November hits and I'm swept up in writing Project #5, the northern fairytale I started last year.

Maybe 'swept up' is downplaying it a bit...

I was actually laughing about this with my husband a few weeks ago when we had our loooooong week of driving.

Writing is something I've always done, on-and-off, since I quit playing the piano and needed a creative outlet, but it's only recently that it feels more like an obsession, a drive, an addiction. I just want more of it all the time.

No matter what else I'm doing, my brain keeps circling back, like a scavenger seeking carrion.

Pleasant description, I know*, but something about it feels dirty... this single-minded-focus that isn't waning with time. 'Cause I can feel it... this itchy, gnawing desire to throw myself into the next story.

...I won't lie, it freaks me out. But I'm a total commitment-phobe, so the sensation of sinking into something so deeply I'm not sure I can breathe... well, 'claustrophobic' might be a good descriptor.

Yeah, there's a reason I've always been scared of writing 1st person POV.

...for those of you who've read 'Brake Fluid' in its entirety...

"There's a point when something too far gone to clean up or save."

And I fear that line could be referring to my sanity...


Selka, the Lady of Crows, is clawing her way out of my head, so November better hurry up and come fast, 'cause I'm not sure how much longer I can last without my next fix.

I want to write her soooooooo bad...

...and does that 'carrion' simile make more sense now?


Please tell me I'm not the only crazy one out there...




*Hey, at least it wasn't another vomit reference!

The inevitable encroachment of NaNo...

I'm excited about NaNo this year, for a couple of reasons.

The first being, I really want to finish the northern fairytale I started last year, then quickly abandoned in order to finish 'Brake Fluid'.

Second reason?

Long-time followers (and writing group members) know I have been struggling with some pretty major health issues going on... 9+ years now. Yeah, I pretty much keep all that stuff off my blog 'cause I find myself annoying when I talk/write about it, but I did touch on it briefly before taking a couple weeks off from blogging earlier this year.

Good news on that front: the last couple weeks I've been feeling better than I have in years. Yes, I wrote that correctly. Years.

...and the bad-health-stuff is why I haven't *officially* participated in NaNo since 2006. Sure, every year in November I'm writing, but my depleted energy-stores pretty much guaranteed a big, fat failure if I attempted the entire 50,000 word goal. Usually, I've stuck to a goal of 20-25,000 for the month.

Since I'm nowhere near *all-better*, I'm still not going to pressure myself into completing a full NaNo, but I'm looking forward to not having to worry so much about limits, about not having to weigh and measure my options every day based on how I feel when I wake up. To not having to sleep away half-the-day if I want to be alert enough to get in the car and drive somewhere in the evening. To know I can walk the dog, and do other things in the same day without being exhausted.

It isn't just NaNo I'm excited about... it's the hope of being *me* again.

So if I've been quiet the last few weeks, and probably will be in the coming weeks as well... it's just me testing these new boundaries.

Oh, and if you're also a NaNo participant, feel free to stalk me here.

Breaking, re-working & editing

The good part of NaNo is getting the rush of new words on the page.

The bad part of NaNo is often sifting through the mess when November is over and done with.

Yesterday I went through Project #4 and took a good hard look at what was there.

One of the main reasons I stopped writing (other than going away) was I had reached the end of the present-day timeline, yet still had about 1/3 of the party 6 months earlier to fill in, plus the night Jackson died. I was alternating scenes, but wasn't alternating them frequently enough, and I didn't have time to go through the story and move a bunch of the scenes around, and it felt too weird to suddenly stop alternating scenes and write out both nights in one big uninterrupted dump.

So that's what I did yesterday :) I broke large scenes up and moved a ton of them around, pushing the party 6 months ago way further up in the story and now I have a ton of small present-day scenes on their own into which I can alternate the two past time-lines.

It does annoy me that doing this wrecked the flow of the story in a bunch of places, for example, in one set of alternating timelines, I was using warmth/cold as conduits to move back and forth between the MC stuck in Triss' car and the whole bankrupt-moral-rationalization behind stealing from Jackson and from others.

Moving those scenes around completely destroyed that.

But it also coincidentally lined up some scenes in new ways that I hadn't considered.

Like the beginning/end of these two scenes:

Her mouth was only a few inches from mine and I could feel her warm breath racing across my skin and electrifying every single tiny hair on my body. “You know I only need you.”

***

“I’m tired,” Triss says.

It’s been about twenty minutes since she leaned into me. Twenty minutes of her rough breath beating warm and repetitive against my skin.

Yes, this need editing 'cause the wording is far too repetitive, but those scenes used to be really far away from each other, and although they worked in their original locations, I think they work far better now. Triss' breath against the MC's skin ties these scenes together, but in each place, the emotion/tension/reaction of the two characters is drastically different.

I could mourn all the great points where the flow got broken, I could even be obstinate about it and leave them how they were originally (after all, that would be easier in a lot of ways), but in the end, I think when you ruthlessly break up a story, you end up finding things you didn't know were there and it opens up directions you hadn't necessarily considered before.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your story is to smash it to bits and re-examine the pieces.

For all those places where I *broke* the good flow, well, I figure if I managed to write good flow in the first place, then I certainly should be able to modify the beginnings/ends of each scene to re-create the kind of flow I want.

I know there isn't one definite way this story has to be written, and I find when I break a story and put it back together again, it's better and stronger than the original was.

So don't be afraid to be ruthless.

In my case, I had written myself into a corner and I needed to break the whole thing apart to make room to write.

How about you guys? Have you dared to re-read your NaNo stories? Any major problems that look absolutely terrifying?

I'm coming home today!

...so, one more nibble, then I'll have the weekend to recover and I'll do a proper post again on Monday. Hope you enjoyed what's gone up these past 10 days!