A wonderful Friday the 13th

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I love Friday the 13th, and here's my latest reason to love them:

Today, I signed on with Patricia Nelson of the Marsal Lyon Literary Agency.

Yes, that's right.

No, no need to check your calendars. This isn't an April Fools post.

Are you stunned? Yeah, me too. The past two weeks have been a little like living in a constant state of delirium (meant in a good way), and not only because I've been on antibiotics for a mild case of pneumonia.*

Soooooooo, the story?

You know how I like to obsess over 'spin' and over-analyze things to death, so I could tell this from several different angles.

Well, I've read a lot of other writer's stories and I've thought a lot about what I want/don't want to tell.


Theoretically, I could structure this story around how dyslexia has been a disadvantage, how a big part of me never felt I would ever be able to play in the professional's playground no matter how much work/time I put into this.

But I'm not interested in this being a triumph-over-adversity story, because, really, this is only the start of a new journey.

Or I could structure it around how dyslexia has been an advantage, has given me an odd way of looking at the world, more stamina, a thicker skin, and a willingness to keep hammering away at something, even if there's little chance I'll succeed.

But I'm also not interested in telling a don't-give-up-you'll-win-in-the-end story, because hard work doesn't always equate success.


I'm also not going to talk about how long I've been at this, how few/many queries/partial/fulls/rejections I've tallied up, mainly because I don't think any of that is important. All it does is invite comparison, and everyone has their own writing journey, their own obstacles, and their own decisions to make about what to put their energy into, and what demands and deserves their emotional/psychological focus.

...right, I did promise not to over-analyze...


Okay, so instead, I'm going to (hopefully) make you smile and (perhaps) laugh.

(which is usually AT me, yes? I am my own favourite target for humour)

And try to convey why I think this was a good fit, from my perspective.



In my previous post about SiWC 2015 I mentioned that, instead of using my agent pitch session to pitch, I used it to ask for a professional opinion on how to set up a particular query. Well, it did start out as a non-pitch-session, but then it somehow transmogrified into a pitch after getting onto the subject of my ungendered main character, N, in TRoRS.

And honestly, up until 15-20 minutes before the session, I was still debating whether to give my space to someone else -> I didn't want to waste an agent's time because I was not planning to pitch, and that's kinda what they're there for.

 But instead, I decided to be selfish and get my question answered.

(thank you, beloved local writing buddies, for pushing me to be selfish...)

...and wow, I'm certainly glad I did...

Patricia was delightful, enthusiastic, quick-witted, and friendly. Talk about an award-winning first impression.

(I should ask for pointers)

She asked for the full.

...I left, somewhat in shock. And I sent it after the conference. Actually, I waited an entire 2 days to send it.

(blame the shock)

And happily set it out of my mind. Thankfully, I've always been pretty zen about queries/requests/etc. Once I click 'send' on an email, I know I have no more control over it, so I focus on things I do have control over. I was not stressed, worried, or hopeful. I was only starting to get vaguely curious about the status of the fulls that had gone out in July. My brain was occupied with my Northern Fairytale, cannibalistic gods, and whether raw bone marrow would spread easily like soft butter, or would be more gelatinous, like cold jelly.**

So I was shocked (yet again) when barely 24 hours later she emailed, said she was halfway through, loved it so far, and wanted me to send sample chapters of other things I was working on.

(I mean, seriously... who reads that fast?)

After a little back-and-forth about what projects she was interested in seeing ugly-first-drafts of, I sent off the first 30 pages of two other stories.

...and 24 hours later...

...after running around in the dark at the dog park with Eva in 7C weather wearing a tank top, thin pants, and barefoot shoes (and most likely contracting pneumonia, or setting myself up to catch it soon after)...

...I got home and there was another email...

(seriously! who reads that fast?!?!)

...saying some of the nicest things I've ever had someone say about my writing... and asking to set up a phone conversation to chat.

(now do you understand why I say that I have been living in a state of delirium? I may also have double-checked the email address was legit as I was concerned that, if I replied, I would soon discover she was secretly a Nigerian princess who wanted to send me one million dollars just as soon as I passed along my social insurance number and banking information...)***

Okay what really happened is I closed my laptop. Like, snapped it shut and kinda tossed it onto the table -> there is now a dent in my coffee table. Then I sat on the sofa for a few minutes feeling like I was going to throw up. Then I re-read the email. Then I fed Eva and Berkeley (who were, of course, deeply offended that I had not immediately rushed to serve them dinner the moment I got home). And sat on the sofa for a while before re-reading the email yet again.

Thankfully, for all involved, I did not throw up.

(remember, I have a beagle. please don't imagine what she would have done with that...)****

Then I wrote back. And a couple hours later, I remembered to find something to eat for myself. Oh, and then took a hot shower since I was chilled right through and kinda soaking wet from running around the dog park in the dark, in the rain, and wearing inappropriately light clothing.*****

(yes, getting sick was entirely my own fault)

It was Thursday. I had send my MS on Tuesday.

We would talk Wednesday morning.

And we did.

Even though I barely had a voice at all because, at that point, I was quite terribly sick.

(well, I was at the tail end of the cold that turned into mild pneumonia. of course I wasn't really sick! okay, I admit I may have been in denial. like I admit it was fully my fault in the first place)


Now, beyond the awful-foghorn-croaky voice, I have no idea what I sounded like on the phone. More than once I've been accused of being a robot. Apparently, whenever I'm nervous or excited or upset or... whatever, I speak very calmly. Even when I laugh, it's nearly soundless.

(again, I need pointers on how to make a good first impression. people like to know you're excited...)



We ended the conversation with an agreement to talk on the 13th, adhering to the standard protocol: 7-to-10-painful-days-in-limbo where you email the other agents who have the full and give them time to weigh in or step aside.

...but I had already pretty much made up my mind because, honestly, I couldn't imagine how another agent could have felt like a better fit.

Without me even asking/prompting, Patricia had neatly ticked off every item on my theoretical "must have" list, and even a few on my "in a perfect world where I have a jetpack, a classic Shelby, the Seahawks are having a perfect season, and a comically-old-school-looking-robot-dressed-in-a-french-maid-uniform is in my kitchen prepared to cook/serve me gourmet food" list. Like, I know this is an insanely unimportant thing to wish for, but I've always (secretly) wanted an agent who is on the West Coast.

And San Diego? C'mon... it's like, the only city I could even imagine living, other than Vancouver or Seattle. Most people recognize me on the street because of the bright orange Padres baseball hat I wear while walking Eva.


Key on that list of "must haves":

- She absolutely did not want me to gender N (cue imaginary swooning scene right here.)

- Her absurdly fast response time. I'm absolutely neurotic about schedules/time. If I'm 10 minutes early for something, I'm still late. If I'm only going to be 5 minutes early, I'll call/text and let the person know I might be late. (Note: I don't expect others to be like this, it's a standard I hold for myself as I find it incredibly disrespectful to waste someone else's time. I'm more laid-back when it's someone else wasting my time... because usually I've already pre-scheduled for that.)

- She argued with me (YES!) And by that, I am not admitting to being a masochist. No, what I very much like, and admire in other people, is the willingness to stand by their convictions. We all come to the same problem with a different set of tools/experience/information, and I never like to enter into a discussion with the pre-formed opinion that I am right. In this particular case, she was right ;)

- Somewhat of a continuation of the last point, she asked questions about my characters/stories that I had never thought about, and offered several ideas about how to make the story richer/cleaner/clearer. Since I have that deeply-ingrained-belief that there's always going to be a problem I'll miss in my own writing, this gave me confidence that she would catch any dyslexic-blindspots, and not only at a copy-editing level, at a deeper, construction/structural level.

- She loves editing... and by that, I mean she isn't afraid to suggest big structural changes (shred it to bits and I'll thank you for it! ...wait, ahem, I am absolutely not admitting to being a masochist...). And I'm not too proud to confess I was very happy she doesn't think breaking the entire skeleton is necessary for TRoRS -> since I did spend a solid month last spring tearing apart and re-working that insane, non-linear timeline. I'm good with breaking/resetting a couple of limbs, the odd finger, and maybe a kneecap.

- Meeting with an agent in person is a rarity, so that was not a 'must have', but on my theoretical list was the necessity of a 'gut' feeling of compatibility. The good first impression from the not-a-pitch-turned-pitch was only reinforced by our conversation and by subsequent email/followup over the next week. I also talked to a couple of her other clients and didn't ask a lot of specific questions, merely listened to what they had been looking for in an agent, and how they had found working with Patricia. I was pleased that my 'gut' impression seemed to match their real-life experience.


And then there were many other small, lovely things that I would never have thought to put on a list, but was delighted that they came along as a package deal.


I told exactly six people (three of whom are direct blood relatives) during the 7-to-10-painful-days-in-limbo while waiting to hear back from the other agents who had fulls. I think it's probably a good thing I was sick or the impulse to tell more people might have overcome the deliciously-evil-fun of hoarding a good secret ;)

(I have a mastered quite the repertoire of maniacal laughs, each individually suited for other evil activities, delicious or otherwise)

Everyone else will be hearing about it today. When it's officially official.

(my brain may still clunk around for a while in mid-shock-mode, so a warning to those who have to interact with me in real life: if I suddenly palm-smack my forehead in the middle of a conversation with you, don't worry. I'm just trying to reboot)


I have to say that I love the humour of this happening on a Friday the 13th, since I do have well-crafted opinions about the idea of 'luck' (reminder: I dislike the concept of luck). And (surprisingly), with my mad-obsession with numbers, I didn't actually try to engineer it that way. Now, the only thing that would make it even better is if I happened to be her 13th client...

(spoiler: I'm not)

So, to everyone along the road (and yes, there have been many, many, many) who encouraged me, critiqued me, laughed with (at?) me, or otherwise tagged along so far on this (hopefully) amusing ride, thank you. I am... so incredibly happy to share this news with all of you. I have been extremely fortunate to fall in with such an amazing online (and in-real-life) community of writers. In all sincerity, thank you.

My heart is a little sad that one of my writing buddies, Sue Koenig, is not alive to read this post. In TRoRS, Triss's mom is Jewish because of Sue and her amazing New York accent, and no matter what I said, or what I thought, or how ambiguously I wrote, from the very beginning Sue firmly believed there was an intense f/f love-relationship between Triss & N, and heartily cheered it on.


...and as many wise people along the journey have said about this weird little manuscript, "it just has to find the right pair of eyes."

And I think that is the case.




Now... tell me... did I succeed in making you smile? Laugh?

(or possibly throw up a little in your mouth? I know, I know, referencing my dog was probably over the top)


Uhm, yeah. I don't really do 'heartwarming' or 'motivational' very well, do I? But I don't think any of you would have expected it, not from me :p

(bad grammar, yes... but heartwarming?)



Okay, this post is long enough, it's 9:42am, and I need to leave for physio at 9:45, so I'm going to end it here.

Have a wonderful weekend, all!




* Pneumonia is one of those strange things where, if you get it once, you've prone to getting it again. I had it pretty bad as a teenager, and I think this is now the third time since that I've caught it in the early stages.

** This is why I think I need pointers on how to make a better first impression. I have terribly inappropriate facts stored away in the 'small-talk-topics' file in my brain. Yes, I've actually used the 'substitute blood for eggs' in more than one conversation. And legitimately. Not to get someone annoying to go bother someone else.

*** Who doesn't like an old internet-scam joke?

**** And this fulfills the ongoing joke of how I always want a vomit reference to make the reader feel slightly queasy upon reading it. C'mon, tell me you didn't immediately imagine what I told you not to imagine...

***** Yeah. My fault. I fully admit it. This is kinda like when I was running on top of a split-wood fence and fell off. Or when I electrocuted myself. Or when I sortof-intentionally gave myself hypothermia by swimming in 14C lake water because I was curious to find out how quickly I would lose body heat and what that would feel like. Or... huh, I really have too many examples, don't I? Apparently, I have no sense of self-preservation. My tombstone will certainly read, "Curiosity killed her." Hopefully it doesn't also include the terms, "splat",  "poor eye-hand coordination", or "should have read the label before eating".

It's not you, it's me

I know it irks a lot of writers to receive a, 'I just didn't love it' type response from an agent or editor, but it's something I completely understand.

You don't have to be an agent to get excited about reading something, and then have the expectation fall flat.

There's a book I read recently, which (of course) I'm not going to give the author/title. There was (unfortunately) no sample available for download, but there was the 'look inside' feature, and I did read the available pages before I bought the book.

There were 20 Amazon reviews (all 4 or 5 stars), but other than that, there wasn't a lot of information about the book. 

But the premise was so cool that I just had to take the chance and buy it.

This was definitely one of those moments were I could empathize with an agent reading a great query, reading a great first 10 pages, getting all excited... and then the story quickly spiralling into "lessons" for young readers, adult character almost entirely steering the plot, steering the characters, etc, nearly point-form plotting, and the very interesting ensemble of characters (including the main character the book started with) disappearing from the pages completely while a rather boring side character suddenly took over the story, which was then filled with cardboard-flat and comic-relief add-ins who are easily manipulated by the boring side character, and everything works out perfectly.

Yeah, I was really disappointed. I certainly won't be buying the sequel.

Obviously those 20 Amazon reviewers were not disappointed, and of course, whoever the agent was (and editor, etc) who took on that project.

But I didn't love it. And that's okay.


So, why am I thinking about expectations?

I'm one of those err-on-the-side-of-caution writers. I haven't yet seriously joined the query trenches. I've joined a couple contests that put my work in front of agents, and I sent out 10 queries from a previous story. I've never sat down and researched agents and agencies, made lists or spreadsheets.

I have bookmarked lots of agent interviews and (some may think this weird) blogposts by writers who have separated from their agents.

Although there's always a lot of politically correct language, it seems many agents/writers who split turn out not be a good 'fit' as partners, but the stories I am most interested in re-reading are from writers who have gotten an agent with one style/genre of book, and then been at odds with their agent because their second, third or tenth book is in a different genre/style, one that the agent doesn't connect to or doesn't represent.

When (in the future) I do eventually query seriously, TRoRS would be the book I'd go with.

The main reason?

It's a weird book.

Rather than show up to a first date in brand new heels & clothes, I'd prefer to be in my usual sneakers & jeans, and I'm sure as heck not going to be ordering salad and water if I want steak and wine.

I think it's better to lead with real idiosyncrasies than with a well-meaning facade.

...and TRoRS would be the equivalent to showing up in my much-loved and worn-in Converse One Stars.

Getting an agent excited thinking they're getting 'A' is making no one happy if you're really giving them 'B'.

And I'm not just talking just about a query/10 pages... I'm also taking about a writer's career. If what you love and want to write forever is Adult sci-fi, perhaps it's not the best bet to seriously query with a MG contemporary... Not that you can't do both, but that's certainly a necessary conversation.

I'd want an agent who knows s/he's getting scuffed Converse by reading the query, reading the first 10 pages, and still is getting those same faded black runners when s/he hits the end of the story. I want the consistency to carry through my story, from the first paragraph, to the last.

...and I'd want an agent who wouldn't be surprised, or unhappy, to get a pair of green DC's next instead of pair of Giuseppe Zanotti's (yes, I had to Google 'designer high heels' to find that name brand...)

In other words, someone who loves 'my style'. My voice. My stories.


As a reader, I want to love every book I buy, but that's impossible. Even out of the ones I like, there are very few that I'd want to read more than once.

So, for agents who have to re-read manuscripts over and over again, yeah, I totally get the "I just didn't love it" response.

And I think that's a good thing, because as a writer, I want (and deserve) to have an agent who loves what I write and who would want to read it more than once, and who would look forward to whatever project I work on next.

Also, no more buying books on my Kindle unless they have a sample to download. I suppose, since my online Wish List is hovering around 620 items, that shouldn't be a problem :)

Yeah... still on the codeine-enriched anti-spasm muscle relaxants, can ya tell? I'm sure my grammar is a foggy mess :p

So sorry about that. Those ribs just still don't want to stay where they should.

SIWC

Hi everyone!

I know, since I mostly went to YA workshops, my notes won't be 100% useful to everyone, but I think there's some good information that is also applicable to adult fiction/etc.

I will put them up in individual posts so no one is overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of my note-taking ways (7,629 words for 6 workshops...). I will try to get them all up tomorrow.

Please excuse any spelling/wording errors as I was typing pretty fast while trying to listen/absorb at the same time... you can give me points for enthusiasm, but probably not for 100% accuracy...


As for the conference? Well, yeah, it was awesome! A fabulous three days that was topped off on the final day by winning a pass to next year's conference... so, my plans for next year are already set :)


I had my agent pitch on Friday morning (no, not going to tell you her name/agency) where writers had 10 minutes to verbally pitch a *finished* project to either an editor or an agent. I was freaking nervous, but due to my... odd tendency to flip into power-extro-mode when I'm highly stressed, my pitch was over and done with in less than 3 minutes. Then we spent the rest of the time talking about sports, the west coast, and other things, including her completely kick-ass shade of neon-green nail polish (I WANT some for when I go down for the Seahawks game in a few weeks!!!)


If you're curious, this is the pitch I boiled down, and thankfully didn't stumble over (too much):

There are rules when you ride shotgun because the driver holds all power and responsibility, but after a bet goes wrong, a boy ends up dead, and the corpse is stashed in their trunk for disposal, two teens must reevaluate the rules of their relationship, and ultimately when to break them.

The twist is that the main character remains completely anonymous, as in, no name, and no defined gender.

To me, that kind of agent pitch was the perfect way to start off my first conference... It helped me relax and really hammered home that everyone there was passionate about writing. Probably, that is what spurred me on to talk to whoever I came across, sat with, or bumped into in the hallways. I haven't nerded-out about books like that since I was last in Victoria (almost a year ago!) with my writing group there... and it's something I am sorely missing.

I am very thankful to that agent :) I may not have had such a great conference experience if it hadn't started out in that way.


My Blue Pencil session was Saturday morning, and by sheer coincidence, the author who looked over the first 3 pages of 'The Rules of Riding Shotgun' knew the agent I pitched to... like, really well. I honestly had no idea... but that was kindof cool, and since I love the author's books, it was doubly cool how nice and friendly she was... and the fact that she laughed at the line on my first page about the shopping cart full of Depends ;) Yeah, that made me feel good ;)


Something I wasn't planning on doing, but ended up 'winging it', was pitching my 'pitch' in one of the workshops (after my agent pitch session) and getting feedback from the presenter and the other audience members, then I also did it with my query.

Both of those were more nerve-wracking then the agent pitch! ...probably because there were, like, 40-50 people in the room both times, but I'm glad I did them as I got some excellent feedback on my query (the IMPOSSIBLY annoying one that was insanely difficult to get into 3rd POV), which I'm going to update on my 'What I'm Writing' Page. It isn't too different, but there are a couple of significant changes that help make it a lot clearer, so that was awesome.

Someone even gave me the name of an author who has also written a gender-ambiguous character, so I'm going to have to check that out :) It's adult fiction though, not YA.


The only disappointment I had about the entire conference, is that I didn't know you could sign up for multiple pitch/Blue Pencil appointments if there were free slots... and only found out on the last day when it was too late. I have no idea how I missed that... but I totally would have taken advantage of as much feedback as possible.

Oddly enough, there was one off-handish comment in a workshop that made me completely re-evaluate a sequence of several scenes in 'The Rules of Riding Shotgun'. Guess you never know when something small you hear will make a big difference :)

Obvious, right?

Sometimes you whirl around a situation so many times you lose sight of the obvious. Until someone smacks you upside the head with it...

Thanks, Lydia for commenting. I really needed to be beaten-down with the obvious:

That query POV issue is always hard. You just have to pretend you're pitching it out loud to someone. It's hard!

So how do I talk about my murky main character when I'm talking to someone, out loud, about the story?

After 2.5 hours of sleep, I bolted awake at 4:30am this morning and typed this 3rd POV query for 'TRoRS' on my phone as an email to myself:

For the nameless, gender-ambiguous main character (MC), riding shotgun in Triss’ car is normal. So is sleeping in her car when it’s not safe to go home, and eating her leftovers cold from a brown paper bag. When the car starts breaking down, it’s normal for the MC to help when Triss gets involved in a twisted game of manipulation so she can pay for repairs. 

At parties Jackson hosts, their game runs on in the background, where they bet on who’s going to get wasted and do something stupid. The bets start out normal, but they quickly escalate until one night, everything goes wrong, and people aren’t like cards or poker chips. They have baggage. They get angry. They want revenge.

Six weeks after that party, Jackson ends up on the wrong side of dead, and now nothing is normal. There are rules when you ride shotgun, because the driver holds all power and responsibility, but when there’s a corpse in the trunk, the car is breaking down, and Triss starts to lose control, the MC must reevaluate the rules of their relationship, and ultimately when to break them.

THE RULES OF RIDING SHOTGUN is a 60,000 word YA Contemporary in the tradition of Courtney Summers and John Green, with a little bit of Justine Larbalestier’s LIAR mixed in. The main character has no name, and no defined gender, as relationships are all about the lines we draw, and the lines that are drawn for us.

Yeah. Still needs work. It's boring and not quite *voice-y* enough, but it's a place to start, and not bad considering I'm deliriously tired from almost two straight weeks of insomnia... or maybe I'm so overtired I can't tell good from bad anymore...

Thoughts? Impressions? The writing sucks, so I'm asking more about the angle... the points I'm focusing on.

Okay, I'm going to try to get a couple more hours sleep. Today's Flash Fiction Friday may go up later than normal, but it'll still be going up.

Like a Virgin round#2

The second round of 'Like a Virgin' contest starts today, results on Friday. Since I'm at my parents' house, and didn't bring my laptop, guess I'll be following along via my phone since I'm not heading home until late Saturday :)

If you do decide to pop over out of idle curiosity, just remember that no one but agents are supposed to comment on submissions.

Don't get too excited, I'm not expecting much, other than *actual* feedback due to my 1st POV query :)

I have spent... oh, so many hours fighting to get that query into 3rd POV, but it just doesn't work. Can't use he/she, can't use a name, and as soon as you start throwing around generic terms like, 'the passenger', the focus shifts entirely to Triss/Jackson, so it sounds like Triss is the MC, rather than the gender-ambiguous, nameless MC.

Argh.

Anyways, I'm expecting the lowest number of *cherries* ;)

Writer Therapy Contest

I know, I know... I've just handed off my first draft to eight fabulous readers for feedback...

But contests are always a lot of fun and the prizes are awesome:

Query critique from agent Sara Crowe, Harvey Klinger
Query critique from agent Molly Ker Hawn, The Bent Agency
1st Chapter critique from Nicole Resciniti, The Seymour Agency

The judging is on your first 250 words, polished or a WIP, so go here for the full details.

Rethinking writing

Some of the long-time followers know I sent off a small first-batch of queries back in November/December after winning one of the Miss Snark's First Victim/Authoress' Secret Agent contests.

I sent 10, only 10 (to test the water). I'm aware that is an absurdly low number.

Then my querying dried up due to the high volume of family members dying, being rushed to hospital/emergency, and coming down with terrible illness/afflictions.

Querying was so far down on my list of concerns that I barely got excited each time I was asked for a full/partial, and it barely phased me when (ultimately) the story was rejected by every agent who made a request. I was pretty numb about the whole thing, which is why I didn't send out any more or make any kind of further effort. In truth, I nearly forgot about it entirely.

About two weeks ago (just as I learned another relative has a very short time to live), I heard back from the second-to-last agent who still has the full.

...and that one hit me kindof hard.

It was a personalized response (I got a couple of those, which was nice/flattering), and it clearly pointed out the single major thing I have always worried about with 'Simon's Oath'.

When I wrote the ending... I knew I liked it. I was also completely aware that probably, out of 10 readers, 9 of them would hate the ending.

Now, the problem with 'SO' isn't the ending itself, it's the character arc of one of the two main characters, Simon.

Y'know how, at the wrap-up of every story, the main character hits the lowest point, has a revelation (of sorts), and then climbs back up, even if it's only a few feet?

My story ends with Simon still flat on his face. Sure, there's the implication that things will work out better for him... but he never truly climbs to his feet and takes a step in the right direction. Which doesn't work in the world of YA. In adult fiction, it would have been fine.*

The ending fits with his character, and while I find it satisfying, I was already aware that it would be a difficult sell, because while Simon changes and grows as a character... it's not really a vertical growth. He sinks deeper with every choice he makes and then the rug is (essentially) pulled out from under him in the end. It's not quite Hans Christian Anderson where the matchstick girl dies in the cold and the little mermaid dissolves into bubbles, but it certainly leans closer to that than a Disney-fied 'everyone lived happily ever after' kind of ending.

It's not just a simple matter of re-writing the ending because the failure in the Simon's character arc to turn up at the end makes the wrap-up feel too fast, disrupts the expected ebb/flow of the story, and leaves somewhat of a bad taste from what I had hoped was a bitter-sweet end.

The question now is... what will I do with it? 'Cause it's not an easy fix. I'll probably have to tear apart/re-write the last 1/3 of the story, maybe more.

I don't even know if it's something I can fix on my own, because I know I'm not objective.

Has anyone else had a major problem like this with a story? Did you stick with it, or abandon it like a single sock that's lost it's mate and never looked back?

Any suggestions would be completely welcome/appreciated :)



*which is probably why another agent suggested I re-write the book with an adult audience in mind.

Miss Snark's Secret Agent

No, it's not me this time, since I've been pulling ivy and drawing hippos instead of writing, but one of my long-time writing buddies has an entry in the latest Miss Snark's First Victim Secret Agent Contest.

...and I already know she's going to kill me for pointing you there...

BUT, even though her story isn't in a genre I would normally read, I do love this story and have been pestering harassing threatening encouraging her to finish it so I can read the final version.

Statistics of minor interest/curiosity

No laptop yet, so again, this will be another short iPhone post :)

Well, my curiosity got the best of me and I actually used my phone to scroll through the results for the Public Slushpile Contest.

Surprisingly, 11 out of 58 commenters said YES to my very rough query.

What's interesting (to me) is that most of the NO votes basically said, "Don't write in 1st person".

I anticipated this (and was expecting a high ratio of NO votes), but it also makes me wonder... how many of those NO votes were simply because it was in 1st person?

The standard format of queries is 3rd person, so how many people mistake 'standard format' with 'iron-clad-don't-ever-do-this-rule'?

The other most common comment was people thought they were reading my first page (as in, I was an idiot and submitted the wrong text) because I didn't put a 'Dear Agent...' line at the beginning. That missing line combined with a 1st person query... duh, of course that would make it seem like the first page, so yes I was an idiot to not foresee that happening.

It makes me wonder if I had included the 'Dear Agent...' line, if the YES/NO ratio would be any different.

BUT, all-in-all, I'm surprised my non-standard query garnered slightly better than a 1/6 YES rate.

Pushing the boundaries of what is possible is one of my defining characteristics as a person. I wouldn't be writing/attempting to get published if that were not the case. Actually, I can safely say the majority of my life choices are because I want to push my own boundaries. Sure, this makes things harder on myself, but when you succeed... there's no better feeling.

While the ratio of YES/NO votes may discourage someone else and send them back to the drawing board to re-write their query in 3rd person, I'm actually encouraged by the results.* I was going to consider it a win if I had 1/10 YES vote.

I was also incredibly pleased to see some genuinely helpful comments which I will certainly make use of when I do get around to re-writing this rough query into something presentable.

Query writing is incredibly difficult, but I must admit, I actually kinda find it fun :)

Oh, and here are a few fabulous posts I was able to read (but didn't comment on)!

A look at the Thelma & Louise movie for showing character through action (it's long, but worth it)

If you aren't already following Guilie's helpful posts from her SFWC experience, here's another great post which sort of brilliantly compliments this next link, which is:

...a lesson on perfect lines from Calvin and Hobbes, a comic from which I've divined much inspiration ;)



*Incidentally, with only 25 entires, 12 entries had the same number of YES votes as mine or less. 9 of those had single digit YES votes, 2 of which had 0 YES votes.

...and yes, that took me over an hour of scrolling on my phone to count. Hey, I'm obsessive! I admit it!

Well, I might not have luck with technology...

Still no word on when my laptop with be back, but my number was drawn in Authoress' new 'Public Slushpile Contest'.

...I was the second-to-last number drawn (#24) so please drop by, give it a read, and leave any helpful criticism you might have. If you want to say more than the allowed 'one sentence' (see below), by all means, come back here and write me a novel in the comment form. I consider no comment too small or too picky :)

...and I am expecting a lot of 'No's because mine is in 1st person.

The rules for the Public Slushpile Contest are:

• NO CRITIQUING THE QUERIES!
• Each comment needs to begin with YES or NO (meaning, it hooked you or not), followed by one sentence (one!) explaining why.
• One comment per reader.
• Comments that do not begin with YES or NO will not be included in the final tally.  (Because I value my eyeballs.  I need to be able to skim through the comment boxes and make quick counts.)
• The 5 queries with the most YES responses will be invited to submit their first 500 words.

I'm hoping I'll see some queries for projects (and writers) I recognize... but just in case, if anyone else is there, let me know your number and I'll make sure to leave comments for you :)

Brown M&M: the QA candy of choice

There's a famous (true) story of how David Lee Roth, the singer of Van Halen, would ask for a bowl of M&Ms to be placed in his dressing room before every concert, and would flip out if he walked in and found a single brown M&M in the bowl.

Some people talk about how he had an ego the size of a small planet, but this wasn't about his ego, it was about quality control.

This odd stipulation was smack dab in the middle of Van Halen's extremely long and precise contract which specified weight requirements for equipment, necessary wattage, number and spacing for all the plugs, etc. Van Halen was one of the first bands to have crazy technical setups/shows, their equipment took nine 18 wheeler trucks to haul everything when the usual standard for a band was about three, so you can appreciate that stages built to hold 1/3 of the weight and support 1/3 of the electricity were going to have problems if Van Halen showed up.

For example: in this particular case, the staging actually sunk through the floor and caused $80,000 worth of damage to the building.

The brown M&M clause was to check and see if the technical specifications of the contract had been carefully read and followed. Without fail, if the band saw any brown M&Ms in their dressing room, there were major problems with the setup, so as soon as they looked at the bowl, they knew whether everything had to be re-checked and re-done before a show.

So, what does this have to do with writing?

The first few pages of your book are no different than that bowl of M&Ms.

I read six books this week. In most cases, all the things I liked and didn't like about those books were clearly evident on the first page or within the first chapter.

I think it's a very good exercise for any writer to consider what they like about books they read, but also carefully pay attention to, and consider, things they do not like.

I've fallen prey to this myself. I have unconsciously replicated things I don't like in other stories in my own writing. I don't know why, perhaps it's simply the case of being familiar with the commonly used tropes, so the story direction naturally flows in that direction unless it is consciously diverted onto a new path.

Probably this is more common for pantsers who happily follow the current instead of mapping out all the waterfalls, rapids and jagged rocks before diving in. I honestly don't know.

Any plotters care to weigh in? Do you have this problem?

It's hard to spot the problems within your own writing, so I think it's really valuable to read critically while you're reading for pleasure. And yes, I think this is possible. Whenever my attention starts to lag or I begin to skim, I pause, briefly, and ask myself why, but it doesn't ruin my enjoyment of the story.

Sometimes it's stupid little things like character tags... seriously, two books I read (not this week) had characters 'sighing' up to five times in a single page. And not just one character, like a personal quirk... it was all the characters.

Or one book I did read this week used very easy-to-read language... then suddenly on one page were the words 'essay', 'ablutions' and 'husband' (the verb, not the noun). Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was stumped by the meaning of these words, but it was jarring to have all three of them show up together in such close quarters, and two were actually within the same paragraph. Other than that one page, this book wasn't taxing the reading level of a normal fourteen or fifteen-year-old (the target market).

I've also discovered that certain types of description send my eyes skimming. In particular, descriptions of quick actions where the language is incredibly exact, so it seems to draw out the movement longer than physically possible... like cheesy-Matrix-esque-slow-motion. This shows up often in fighting scenes, which is probably one of the key reasons I've never taken well to the fantasy genre, but until I started reading critically, I could never pinpoint why my eyes would glaze over the moment swords or magic came onto the scene.

Then there are the larger plot-affecting-problems. For me, love triangles are usually a speed-through-the-rest-of-the-book-then-instantly-forget-I-ever-read-it kind of thing. My oldest and dearest friend (we've know each other nearly 20 years) eats them up. For those kinds of books, it's usually pretty clear in the first chapter that the primary problem is choosing between the sweet-boy-next-door and the sexy-dangerous-new-boy.

Yet all of these things I have been guilty of in some form or another.

For example, what is mysteriously rearing its ugly head in Project #5? Yup, a sort-of-love-triangle. But because I know the specifics/tropes that personally annoy me, I am avoiding them like the tupperware container you find in the back of the fridge which seems to be growing a new form of life...

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result.

Knowledge and awareness are two key elements of change.

If I know the over-used elements that bore me to tears and have me counting the word 'sigh' instead of following the storyline, I'm more likely to avoid regurgitating those same elements. If I'm aware of my own writer-quirks/problems before I start tapping madly on the keyboard, there's a higher chance my first-drafts will be cleaner of those kind of unwanted errors that I would otherwise have to hunt and destroy later.

Just like the brown M&M clause, if the contract is read carefully and all the technical details have been checked off, everything is good to go.

I don't want an agent seeing a handful of brown M&Ms in my first five pages and cancelling the show before it even begins because they suspect there are major problems.

Do you?

Guess the age semi-finalists

If you've been following Brenda Drake's blog hop/contest on character voice, today's the day she posts the 20 semi-finalists, so jump on over and check it out.

Since I'm out of town from Saturday until Tuesday, I won't be able to check myself, so I have no idea if I made the cut or not.

What I can say right now is, congrats to those who moved on and I hope those who didn't were able to receive helpful comments from other readers/participants.

I know I certainly appreciated every person who helped me re-work my entry :)

Anyways, see you guys in a few days! ...and I'll check out all you semi-finalists when I get back :)

Feel the fear and do it anyway

So, I'm feeling a little beat-up this morning.

I submitted my Project #2 to the Baker's Dozen contest a few weeks ago... and found out today I was not selected.

I suppose this could be considered my first rejection as I haven't really gotten into the query process yet.

Am I disappointed? Certainly.*

...although I am interested in the battle of wills currently playing out in my head between my larger analytical-response-side and my smaller emotional-response-side.

In general, I always distrust that emotional-response-side of my brain. Right now it's telling me I suck. To quit, that it's time to give up, that I've been wasting my time on something I will never achieve. It's laughing and saying I'm an idiot for telling people I tried... 'cause now they know I failed.

If I had listened to that side in the past, I would have accepted my dyslexia as a wall I could never overcome. I wouldn't have worked my butt off over the years to not only read/write at a normal level, but to excel (yes, still working on the *excel* part.)

That emotional side says, 'be afraid.'

The analytical side says, 'fight back.'

Time and time again, I distrust the emotional part of my brain and focus on the analytical side. This could be the main reason I can't get into stories that have a heavy romance element or a lot of the higher-fantasy type stories. I need the facts. I need to be convinced.

But that analytical part of my brain is what continues to prod me, to poke a sharp stick into my soft, white-underbelly and tells me to throw off the chains of self-loathing and do something. Do anything.

The point is, 'do'. Not 'try', 'do.'

So what can I do? Well, most things in life we have no control over, so worrying about them is not only a waste of time, it's self-destructive.

In this case, I have control over my words, over my story, over my reaction, and over a million other little things.

So, since I know I get a 50/50 love/hate reaction to Project #2 (half love the fairy-tale-like opening, half tell me to chop out all the description and get to the point), the biggest, most productive thing I have control over today is playing those odds.

What am I going to spend today doing? I'm going to research agents and I am going to send out queries. 10 is the number I am committing myself to.

Curling up into a ball and whining about it isn't productive. It is only going to make me feel worse, not better. It's a lose/lose response. Sure, maybe Project #2 isn't ready to send out yet... maybe it isn't good enough, maybe I'll get form rejections back from every query I send out...

...but if I don't do it, I won't know. I will be held up, not by failure, but by fear of failure.

...and the thought of that disgusts me. To be so crippled by fear that I would not even try in the first place.

One of my husband's favourite sayings is, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

It would be a fallacy for anyone to claim that they don't get afraid at times. The point is to recognize when fear is the only thing holding you back from doing something.

So, what are you afraid of today? What's getting you down, holding you back and making you want to curl into a warm blanket and hide away from the world?

Say it with me... "Feel the fear and do it anyway."




*I think I went into this with higher confidence than usual because I was one of the September Secret Agent winners... so again, another example of how this particular story can get the 50/50 love/hate reaction :)

It was a long day

But I think I'm done :)

...and can hardly believe that it ended up at exactly 73,000 words.

Now I'll just sleep on it and skim through it quickly in the morning before sending it off.

I'm also going to submit it to Authoress's Baker's Dozen contest. The first entry time was today, but there's another one on Thursday.

Is anyone else entering?

NaNo, Day 1

So why am I not writing?

For one very good reason :)

I still haven't sent my full MS to Jenny Bent.

I have been waiting (since the end of July) to receive a specific set of comments from someone.

A published author who agreed to edit my work.

I was just informed on Friday that, due to a number of circumstances, that author won't be able to send me comments*.

That was the main reason I had not yet sent off my MS. Now there's no point waiting any longer, so I will clean up the MS as best as I can using the feedback from a couple new beta-readers I tried out and send it away.

If I do that, then I can completely focus on November and my new stories. And hopefully prevent myself from twisting into knots of anxiety knowing an actual agent is reading one of my stories.

So, all day today I'm going to be editing (and fixing the ending a little), and hopefully I can send it off to her tomorrow after I have one grammar-nazi that I trust give my re-written areas a quick check.

To all you NaNo-ers out there, good luck on your first day of writing! Hopefully I will join your ranks tomorrow afternoon :)


*Nothing to do with my story. I fully understand the reasons the author said, 'sorry' and had to bow out of the commitment. I'm disappointed (obviously), but there are no hard feelings.

A bit of a surprise...

So, it looks like someone likes 'Simon's Oath' (project #2 that I've been posting 6 sentences at a time for Six Sentence Sunday).

Thanks to the fun contests that Miss Snark's First Victim hosts, the agent Jenny Bent, of The Bent Agency is going to read the full manuscript.

Wow... honestly I'm a little blown away right now... not sure whether to be excited, terrified, or if I should pinch my own arm to see if I'm really awake.

Marshmallows, fear and popping your query-cherry

Okay, this is too awesome.

I am not yet at the stage where I am querying, but I have sent out one query, so I guess I'm like the kid that licked the marshmallow, but didn't bite it.

In the second week of January, I promised my writing group that I would finish my rough draft (of a 65,000 word story I had, at that time, only written 30,000 words of) and hand it over before I left the country on January 25th. So I got to work. I had about 3 weeks to write 35,000 words.

...and I wrote, a bit. I knew if I was late, my writing group wouldn't care (we're pretty lax about deadlines), and this looseness had slowly worn off on me over the years. I know I can write fast and hard when I need too, I just had to find a way to kick-start myself into *obsessive mode*.

And I found it about a week later when an online writing-buddy asked me to beta-read her submission for ABNA (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award)...something I'd never heard of. She told me about it and that the deadline was 3 days before my promised deadline to my writing group.

...so, y'know that obsessive part of my personality? Well, I figured holding myself accountable to an even earlier deadline would probably make me write faster.

And it did. I wrote those 35,000 words in 10 days (including 6,500 words on the day the contest opened), gave it a quick grammar check, then submitted it and didn't once look back. I was not going in with any false/elevated expectations. I was handing in a first draft in which I already knew the first two scenes needed a drastic re-write. I didn't care. I had sent myself an insane goal and I had accomplished it (and did manage to make it through the first round in the contest, when the VINE feedback nailed everything I already knew had to be re-written).

While I was half-insane/bleary-eyed at 12:10am on the day the contest opened, I haphazardly e-mailed off a query to an agent.

No, this wasn't an accident. I meant to do this and I even felt a pang of self-loathing when I did indeed receive that rejection e-mail.

When I first found out about the ABNA contest, I didn't immediately leap at it. In fact, I think it was almost a week after hearing about it that I decided to sign up. During that week I kept asking myself why wasn't I leaping at it? I mean, the deadline was only a few days earlier than I had originally planned. I wouldn't be doing more work than I was going to do in the first place. It was a first draft, so I didn't have any *great expectations*, so there was nothing to lose by not proceeding to the next round of the contest... so why not? Why was I hesitating? When I actually thought about it and laid everything out in this way, I realized that if I didn't enter, the only possible reason was that I was being a coward.

I was afraid of submitting and being rejected in some way.

So I submitted.

Then I submitted a query to an agent picked almost at random. Okay, not at random. That person seems really awesome online and I would have been ecstatic to work with them, and even though they rep YA, I think what I write is not exactly what they like... and that's okay, but I still don't recommend this. If I wasn't so caught up in facing my fears, (it's called tunnel-vision. It's the reason I will forget to eat for an entire day or why the dog has learned an intricate and annoying tap-dance to alert me when she needs to go outside), I would have realized the absurdity of doing so. I was wasting someone's time, and I hate wasting people's time. It's rude.

So, yeah, I did wrong, but I don't think of it as burning a bridge and at least I learned from my own mistake and won't repeat it in the future. Silver-lining folks. Even the bad has good.

The point is that I needed to face my fear and get it over with. Next time, when I send it to an agent I truly do want, when I get that rejection, it won't hurt quite so much. When you analyze a situation and the best reason for NOT doing something is fear... that's what I can't stand the most. I can handle a lot of things, but fear of something so silly as another person not liking my writing... all I could do was shake my head and tell myself to grow up and submit (yes that was intentional) :P

So how do you deal with fear?