Sunday, July 17, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday 7

Hello all you Six Sentence Sunday visitors!

...and anyone else who happened to wander in :)

Last time you got a little one-sided conversation between Simon and Faith, but she was ignoring him and just staring out the window... well, here's the next six for you. Comments, suggestions or rambling tirades that are somewhat constructive are always welcome :)


“What are you looking at?” Simon leaned closer, knowing what he would see, but hoping he could tempt Faith into conversation, or at least stir up some kind of reaction from the girl he had been watching over for the last five days. 
The morning sun had dyed the hills and valley a blazing orange, the same hot, stifling color of molten iron in the factory fires. Far below in the river were dozens of children fighting the currents with loosely woven canvas sacks, their bodies stained brown by mud and sun. Tied like glass beads to long ropes, they worked to dredge mineral-rich silt from the swiftly flowing water. The full bags were passed up to the shore where teams of two and three children dragged them up onto the bank and into the sun to dry. Stacked in neat lines, the water would slowly drain out through the canvas before they were carted off to the glass factory.

26 comments:

  1. your descriptions took my breath away. I', bookmarking your site to explore some more :-)

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  2. Great description! I can see the entire scene.

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  3. WONDERFUL imagery. Especially loved the line about them tied like glass beads to ropes. Nice. Nice. Nice.

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  4. Fantastic imagery. Love this six!

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  5. your writing grabs me in the gut and the head. Your word usages and sentence structure is amazing and the story is something that I want to know and dwell in for a while

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  6. Great imagery. Wonderful six, thanks for sharing!

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  7. Oh my goodness, I feel completely embarrassed and blown away by your compliments...

    Being complimented on my writing is a new (and slightly fearful) experience due to my dyslexia.


    ...I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop :)

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  8. Beautiful description - I could see it all clearly and felt like I was there - great six!

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  9. So I want to know why she won't talk? They do seem to have an intriguing relationship going on here.

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  10. Your description is beautifully done. I love your writing voice.

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  11. Great description! I felt like I was right there :)

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  12. Really interesting description with the kids and the sand. Good world-building detail. I like it!

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  13. Wonderful world-building and you've got us hooked as to why she won't walk. Great stuff.

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  14. Beautiful imagery as well as pushing the scene forward. Great six!

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  15. I'm breathless at your description. My heart goes out to those children. Fantastic six!

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  16. Love your descriptions! So lyrical!

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  17. Some lovely scene descriptions there. :)

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  18. Fantastic scene! Loved the "glass beads" passage

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  19. Your prose is so lyrical, it almost masks the underlying horror of the scene. Excellent!

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  20. The world building is beautiful. Like Cate said it puts a bucolic picture on a terrible plight. Not easy to do!

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  21. That kind of horror is what I was going for, so it's kind of awesome that you got that :)

    I have a particular love for the stories of Hans Christian Anderson.

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  22. Intriguing situation and set up. Definitely pulls the reader in to find out what's up with the characters and their world. Excellent six!

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Type me out a line of Shakespeare or a line of nonsense. Dumb-blonde-jokes & Irish jokes will make me laugh myself silly :)