A wonderful Friday the 13th

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I love Friday the 13th, and here's my latest reason to love them:

Today, I signed on with Patricia Nelson of the Marsal Lyon Literary Agency.

Yes, that's right.

No, no need to check your calendars. This isn't an April Fools post.

Are you stunned? Yeah, me too. The past two weeks have been a little like living in a constant state of delirium (meant in a good way), and not only because I've been on antibiotics for a mild case of pneumonia.*

Soooooooo, the story?

You know how I like to obsess over 'spin' and over-analyze things to death, so I could tell this from several different angles.

Well, I've read a lot of other writer's stories and I've thought a lot about what I want/don't want to tell.


Theoretically, I could structure this story around how dyslexia has been a disadvantage, how a big part of me never felt I would ever be able to play in the professional's playground no matter how much work/time I put into this.

But I'm not interested in this being a triumph-over-adversity story, because, really, this is only the start of a new journey.

Or I could structure it around how dyslexia has been an advantage, has given me an odd way of looking at the world, more stamina, a thicker skin, and a willingness to keep hammering away at something, even if there's little chance I'll succeed.

But I'm also not interested in telling a don't-give-up-you'll-win-in-the-end story, because hard work doesn't always equate success.


I'm also not going to talk about how long I've been at this, how few/many queries/partial/fulls/rejections I've tallied up, mainly because I don't think any of that is important. All it does is invite comparison, and everyone has their own writing journey, their own obstacles, and their own decisions to make about what to put their energy into, and what demands and deserves their emotional/psychological focus.

...right, I did promise not to over-analyze...


Okay, so instead, I'm going to (hopefully) make you smile and (perhaps) laugh.

(which is usually AT me, yes? I am my own favourite target for humour)

And try to convey why I think this was a good fit, from my perspective.



In my previous post about SiWC 2015 I mentioned that, instead of using my agent pitch session to pitch, I used it to ask for a professional opinion on how to set up a particular query. Well, it did start out as a non-pitch-session, but then it somehow transmogrified into a pitch after getting onto the subject of my ungendered main character, N, in TRoRS.

And honestly, up until 15-20 minutes before the session, I was still debating whether to give my space to someone else -> I didn't want to waste an agent's time because I was not planning to pitch, and that's kinda what they're there for.

 But instead, I decided to be selfish and get my question answered.

(thank you, beloved local writing buddies, for pushing me to be selfish...)

...and wow, I'm certainly glad I did...

Patricia was delightful, enthusiastic, quick-witted, and friendly. Talk about an award-winning first impression.

(I should ask for pointers)

She asked for the full.

...I left, somewhat in shock. And I sent it after the conference. Actually, I waited an entire 2 days to send it.

(blame the shock)

And happily set it out of my mind. Thankfully, I've always been pretty zen about queries/requests/etc. Once I click 'send' on an email, I know I have no more control over it, so I focus on things I do have control over. I was not stressed, worried, or hopeful. I was only starting to get vaguely curious about the status of the fulls that had gone out in July. My brain was occupied with my Northern Fairytale, cannibalistic gods, and whether raw bone marrow would spread easily like soft butter, or would be more gelatinous, like cold jelly.**

So I was shocked (yet again) when barely 24 hours later she emailed, said she was halfway through, loved it so far, and wanted me to send sample chapters of other things I was working on.

(I mean, seriously... who reads that fast?)

After a little back-and-forth about what projects she was interested in seeing ugly-first-drafts of, I sent off the first 30 pages of two other stories.

...and 24 hours later...

...after running around in the dark at the dog park with Eva in 7C weather wearing a tank top, thin pants, and barefoot shoes (and most likely contracting pneumonia, or setting myself up to catch it soon after)...

...I got home and there was another email...

(seriously! who reads that fast?!?!)

...saying some of the nicest things I've ever had someone say about my writing... and asking to set up a phone conversation to chat.

(now do you understand why I say that I have been living in a state of delirium? I may also have double-checked the email address was legit as I was concerned that, if I replied, I would soon discover she was secretly a Nigerian princess who wanted to send me one million dollars just as soon as I passed along my social insurance number and banking information...)***

Okay what really happened is I closed my laptop. Like, snapped it shut and kinda tossed it onto the table -> there is now a dent in my coffee table. Then I sat on the sofa for a few minutes feeling like I was going to throw up. Then I re-read the email. Then I fed Eva and Berkeley (who were, of course, deeply offended that I had not immediately rushed to serve them dinner the moment I got home). And sat on the sofa for a while before re-reading the email yet again.

Thankfully, for all involved, I did not throw up.

(remember, I have a beagle. please don't imagine what she would have done with that...)****

Then I wrote back. And a couple hours later, I remembered to find something to eat for myself. Oh, and then took a hot shower since I was chilled right through and kinda soaking wet from running around the dog park in the dark, in the rain, and wearing inappropriately light clothing.*****

(yes, getting sick was entirely my own fault)

It was Thursday. I had send my MS on Tuesday.

We would talk Wednesday morning.

And we did.

Even though I barely had a voice at all because, at that point, I was quite terribly sick.

(well, I was at the tail end of the cold that turned into mild pneumonia. of course I wasn't really sick! okay, I admit I may have been in denial. like I admit it was fully my fault in the first place)


Now, beyond the awful-foghorn-croaky voice, I have no idea what I sounded like on the phone. More than once I've been accused of being a robot. Apparently, whenever I'm nervous or excited or upset or... whatever, I speak very calmly. Even when I laugh, it's nearly soundless.

(again, I need pointers on how to make a good first impression. people like to know you're excited...)



We ended the conversation with an agreement to talk on the 13th, adhering to the standard protocol: 7-to-10-painful-days-in-limbo where you email the other agents who have the full and give them time to weigh in or step aside.

...but I had already pretty much made up my mind because, honestly, I couldn't imagine how another agent could have felt like a better fit.

Without me even asking/prompting, Patricia had neatly ticked off every item on my theoretical "must have" list, and even a few on my "in a perfect world where I have a jetpack, a classic Shelby, the Seahawks are having a perfect season, and a comically-old-school-looking-robot-dressed-in-a-french-maid-uniform is in my kitchen prepared to cook/serve me gourmet food" list. Like, I know this is an insanely unimportant thing to wish for, but I've always (secretly) wanted an agent who is on the West Coast.

And San Diego? C'mon... it's like, the only city I could even imagine living, other than Vancouver or Seattle. Most people recognize me on the street because of the bright orange Padres baseball hat I wear while walking Eva.


Key on that list of "must haves":

- She absolutely did not want me to gender N (cue imaginary swooning scene right here.)

- Her absurdly fast response time. I'm absolutely neurotic about schedules/time. If I'm 10 minutes early for something, I'm still late. If I'm only going to be 5 minutes early, I'll call/text and let the person know I might be late. (Note: I don't expect others to be like this, it's a standard I hold for myself as I find it incredibly disrespectful to waste someone else's time. I'm more laid-back when it's someone else wasting my time... because usually I've already pre-scheduled for that.)

- She argued with me (YES!) And by that, I am not admitting to being a masochist. No, what I very much like, and admire in other people, is the willingness to stand by their convictions. We all come to the same problem with a different set of tools/experience/information, and I never like to enter into a discussion with the pre-formed opinion that I am right. In this particular case, she was right ;)

- Somewhat of a continuation of the last point, she asked questions about my characters/stories that I had never thought about, and offered several ideas about how to make the story richer/cleaner/clearer. Since I have that deeply-ingrained-belief that there's always going to be a problem I'll miss in my own writing, this gave me confidence that she would catch any dyslexic-blindspots, and not only at a copy-editing level, at a deeper, construction/structural level.

- She loves editing... and by that, I mean she isn't afraid to suggest big structural changes (shred it to bits and I'll thank you for it! ...wait, ahem, I am absolutely not admitting to being a masochist...). And I'm not too proud to confess I was very happy she doesn't think breaking the entire skeleton is necessary for TRoRS -> since I did spend a solid month last spring tearing apart and re-working that insane, non-linear timeline. I'm good with breaking/resetting a couple of limbs, the odd finger, and maybe a kneecap.

- Meeting with an agent in person is a rarity, so that was not a 'must have', but on my theoretical list was the necessity of a 'gut' feeling of compatibility. The good first impression from the not-a-pitch-turned-pitch was only reinforced by our conversation and by subsequent email/followup over the next week. I also talked to a couple of her other clients and didn't ask a lot of specific questions, merely listened to what they had been looking for in an agent, and how they had found working with Patricia. I was pleased that my 'gut' impression seemed to match their real-life experience.


And then there were many other small, lovely things that I would never have thought to put on a list, but was delighted that they came along as a package deal.


I told exactly six people (three of whom are direct blood relatives) during the 7-to-10-painful-days-in-limbo while waiting to hear back from the other agents who had fulls. I think it's probably a good thing I was sick or the impulse to tell more people might have overcome the deliciously-evil-fun of hoarding a good secret ;)

(I have a mastered quite the repertoire of maniacal laughs, each individually suited for other evil activities, delicious or otherwise)

Everyone else will be hearing about it today. When it's officially official.

(my brain may still clunk around for a while in mid-shock-mode, so a warning to those who have to interact with me in real life: if I suddenly palm-smack my forehead in the middle of a conversation with you, don't worry. I'm just trying to reboot)


I have to say that I love the humour of this happening on a Friday the 13th, since I do have well-crafted opinions about the idea of 'luck' (reminder: I dislike the concept of luck). And (surprisingly), with my mad-obsession with numbers, I didn't actually try to engineer it that way. Now, the only thing that would make it even better is if I happened to be her 13th client...

(spoiler: I'm not)

So, to everyone along the road (and yes, there have been many, many, many) who encouraged me, critiqued me, laughed with (at?) me, or otherwise tagged along so far on this (hopefully) amusing ride, thank you. I am... so incredibly happy to share this news with all of you. I have been extremely fortunate to fall in with such an amazing online (and in-real-life) community of writers. In all sincerity, thank you.

My heart is a little sad that one of my writing buddies, Sue Koenig, is not alive to read this post. In TRoRS, Triss's mom is Jewish because of Sue and her amazing New York accent, and no matter what I said, or what I thought, or how ambiguously I wrote, from the very beginning Sue firmly believed there was an intense f/f love-relationship between Triss & N, and heartily cheered it on.


...and as many wise people along the journey have said about this weird little manuscript, "it just has to find the right pair of eyes."

And I think that is the case.




Now... tell me... did I succeed in making you smile? Laugh?

(or possibly throw up a little in your mouth? I know, I know, referencing my dog was probably over the top)


Uhm, yeah. I don't really do 'heartwarming' or 'motivational' very well, do I? But I don't think any of you would have expected it, not from me :p

(bad grammar, yes... but heartwarming?)



Okay, this post is long enough, it's 9:42am, and I need to leave for physio at 9:45, so I'm going to end it here.

Have a wonderful weekend, all!




* Pneumonia is one of those strange things where, if you get it once, you've prone to getting it again. I had it pretty bad as a teenager, and I think this is now the third time since that I've caught it in the early stages.

** This is why I think I need pointers on how to make a better first impression. I have terribly inappropriate facts stored away in the 'small-talk-topics' file in my brain. Yes, I've actually used the 'substitute blood for eggs' in more than one conversation. And legitimately. Not to get someone annoying to go bother someone else.

*** Who doesn't like an old internet-scam joke?

**** And this fulfills the ongoing joke of how I always want a vomit reference to make the reader feel slightly queasy upon reading it. C'mon, tell me you didn't immediately imagine what I told you not to imagine...

***** Yeah. My fault. I fully admit it. This is kinda like when I was running on top of a split-wood fence and fell off. Or when I electrocuted myself. Or when I sortof-intentionally gave myself hypothermia by swimming in 14C lake water because I was curious to find out how quickly I would lose body heat and what that would feel like. Or... huh, I really have too many examples, don't I? Apparently, I have no sense of self-preservation. My tombstone will certainly read, "Curiosity killed her." Hopefully it doesn't also include the terms, "splat",  "poor eye-hand coordination", or "should have read the label before eating".

Story Structure, SiWC Masterclass

Okay, this is the last SiWC post, and this one I didn't actually plan to put up... mainly because I'm having to type this all out by hand now instead of just copying/pasting my notes, and my arm is pretty sore from too much computer work during the past week.

Since I *won* the draw for a free SiWC pass in 2013, I didn't have to pay for the 2014 conference. Because of that, I sprung for a Master Class with the author Eileen Cook (she's also from Vancouver, which is awesome :p), and this was absolutely the high-point of this conference for me.

Since it was a Master Class, I don't feel that it's right to post my notes from this class, but I think it is okay if I post about the story structure component.

One of the greatest disadvantages of being a dyslexic writer is that anything to do with structure/grammar makes absolutely no sense to me.

And I'm not exaggerating here... Ask me to define, or recognize, anything more complicated than a 'noun' and you really will believe I have a learning disability.

My understanding of sentence structure/grammar/etc comes down to three things: repetition (tons and tons of reading), aesthetic instinct (which I believe is also from repetition), and several extremely basic grammar rules that I can understand/recognize... like, when listing three or more things, you put a comma in between them.

Story structure... thinking about it, hearing about it, having it explained to me nearly always puts me into panic-mode... like being parachuted into a non-English-speaking country without money or passport, it absolutely overwhelms me.

Which, I know, most of you probably don't think of that as a big deal... especially those of you who have had your stories critiqued by me. I'm so thoroughly analytical about big-picture stuff that maybe no one has noticed that I almost never talk about the actual structure. And I'm pretty sure it's a major weakness in my own work -> this failure to properly understand structure.

BUT, because I generally like to make things difficult on myself, and because I never want to accept my own limitations, I signed up for this Master Class on editing.

...and finally got the first story-structure explanation that makes sense to me. And you know I like to joke around and say I'm the lowest common denominator... if it makes sense to me, it'll make sense to anyone!

I decided to post this here because I just typed it out for someone else...

So here's the story structure layout that succeeded in hammering basic comprehension into my thick skull:


1) setup -> what the world looks like

a) inciting incident

2) new situation, have to make decision of how to deal with it

b) decision/change of plans (this happens @ the 25% mark)

3) progress -> work towards the goal

c) point of no return ->can no longer go back to the person they were before the decision (this happens at the 50% mark)

4) complications/higher stakes

d) major setback, often death (75% mark)

5) Big push, have to keep going

e) Big climax

6) Aftermath -> what the world looks like now


This is simple. This makes sense to my brain. This I can plug in basic components and *see* the structure of my story.

As an example, I'd use TRoRS, except for the fact it's such a weird story (structural weirdness is only the beginning) that I wouldn't know where to begin.

So how about a story I've talked a little bit about, an older manuscript that a very reputable agent ripped apart and told me to either re-write it as upper YA or MG because, as it currently exists, falls into neither category... (in other words, it's a mess).

Query for this story (so everyone has at least an inkling of what I'm talking about, and this is probably the first 'decent' query I ever wrote):

Where desert wasteland meets raging sea, people die hard, fast and young, but fifteen-year-old Simon doesn’t care about other people, or even about himself. All that matters is protecting his ten-year-old brother, Hector. Everything else can get sunk.

Orphaned, sold, and forced to dredge silt from the local river, Simon is fast to talk his way into a safer job in the red district. Hired by a brothel madam to rehabilitate her daughter, Simon thinks he’s made a good bargain until they meet twelve-year-old Faith. The girl doesn’t talk, she only screams, bites, and lashes out whenever someone gets close. Turning Faith into a normal person seems impossible and the madam has only given them four weeks. If they succeed, they will be fed and clothed until they reach adulthood, but if they fail, they’ll be sold back into indentured slavery where a single slip could mean their death.

Desperate to keep his brother safe, he uses whatever tricks he can to keep Faith’s interest, even when it puts her in danger or he is beaten by the madam’s hand. As the deadline draws closer and Simon’s careful plans begin to fall apart, he must choose where his loyalties lie and which promises he must break.

Told in alternating viewpoints between Simon and Hector, SIMON’S OATH is a 73,000 word YA Fantasy in which two brothers survive by their wits as they struggle, separate, and test the fragile, familial bonds that both tie them together and weigh them down.

And now, this is what that story looks like, following that structure layout:

1) setup -> what the world looks like I started the story with Simon bringing Faith her breakfast, and she basically freaks out. Hector is terrified they'll get sold, Simon reassures him. Simon gets beaten. World building stuff (since it's not based on any specific real world/culture/place/time).

a) inciting incident Simon figures out Faith is always watching the water... and steals a tile with shells in it to (hopefully) catch her interest, and it does. Faith speaks for the first time ever.

2) new situation, have to make decision of how to deal with it Seashells, in the mythology of the world, are cursed, so Simon returns the tile and plots to bring other pretty things... Faith wakes to discover it's missing, chaos ensues. Well, partly due to the shells, more because she's being given a bath. This is the first time Simon/Hector feel sympathy for Faith instead of fear, and they go out looking for new things to show her. The brother's fight and separate.

b) decision/change of plans (this happens @ the 25% mark) Simon convinces Hector they need to get Faith outside, H reluctantly agrees, but still explores on his own and decides they need to go to the mausoleums where (potentially) there are more shells/sea stuff that they can steal.

3) progress -> work towards the goal Simon talks to Faith, working on convincing/manipulating her to go outside, the brothers head to the mausoleums to steal more shells to lure her out... they steal some, but they also find a huge overgrown garden.

c) point of no return ->can no longer go back to the person they were before the decision (this happens at the 50% mark) Because they were stealing shells, Faith freaked out while they were gone and the madam beats Simon when they return home. They essentially 'steal' Faith outside the next day, Simon pushing Faith due to his anger with the madam.

4) complications/higher stakes When they return, the madam hits Hector, and Faith freaks out, but Simon is able to calm her (which is a big deal). The madam gives permission for them to take Faith out again, since she seems a little 'better', but at the same time, kind of writes them off and reiterates the ultimatum. They are running out of time. The brothers take Faith out more, explore the city, Simon manipulating both Faith and Hector. Hector gets resentful/jealous. Faith almost drowns. Hector starts to mistrust his brother. They take Faith to the mausoleums and Hector rebells -> heading into the wild garden that Simon is afraid of.  If I understood more about structure when I wrote this story, I would have more crap/bad things happen here, especially in the garden, as it's essentially their own little paradise. I don't think I raised the stakes enough here.

d) major setback, often death (75% mark) The madam finds the seashells (the ones S&H stole from the mausoleums, which are considered cursed), and in her fury at them bringing shells into her house, she sells Hector to the dredge-line. The brothers are now separated for the first time ever, and Hector could easily slip and die.

5) Big push, have to keep going On their own, Hector starts to find confidence in himself, while Simon starts to fall apart -> he's obsessed with keeping his brother safe, and feels he has failed. Simon's not allowed to take Faith outside anymore since the madam doesn't trust him, and Faith breaks down, causing so much chaos that the madam finally relents. Simon starts taking Faith to the garden daily. Both brothers, on their own, plan for the future in their own way.

e) Big climax the caravan returns, which is the madam's deadline for 'fixing' Faith so she can convince Faith's father to take the girl with him. Simon makes an absolute mess of things by lying/manipulating others and Hector ends up saving the day. I also think this is a point where the stakes were not high enough...

6) Aftermath -> what the world looks like now Okay, this is totally a point where I failed with this MS. Essentially the story ends in the very next scene after the climax so there is no satisfactory resolution.

Part of the reason my end was so crappy is that I wrote the last 30,000 words in 10 days. I was so exhausted by the time I got to the end, it just kindof petered out.

As it turns out, this was also an excellent exercise in making a rough synopsis of the story :)

Really, until I just did this exercise a few minutes ago, I had no idea whether this story conformed to proper structure in the least... so not only did I learn something at the class, I learned something 5 minutes ago putting it into practice.

Definite high-point :)

...and now I kinda want to rip this story apart and re-write it ;)

No, Alcar. Faith and Simon will NOT end up together in a love-love relationship... /shudder/ the thought still creeps me out.

Well, hopefully that was as helpful for you as it was for me (it kinda blew my mind, to be honest), and if it didn't, well, you got a glimpse at an old manuscript of mine that is not 'trunked', but has definitely been put on the back-burner for a while.

Query Blog Hop 2.0

Well, I had some great comments on the blurb/query for my in-progress YA Magical Realism story, so this morning I tapped out some changes.

Here's the updated version... it's a little long at the moment, but hopefully the stakes are a little clearer :)

I plan to re-visit the other blogs in this blog-hop to check out their updated versions.

Dear Agent

Already famous at seventeen, Jason (Jay) Walker is an artist obsessed with light, but unlike the Impressionist painter, Monet, Jay would rather capture the reflective ripple of scar tissue instead of a sunrise over water.

Too bad he’s been in an artistic dry period since his hot girlfriend turned cold. Jay’s been left with an unfinished painting, no model, and a tight deadline for a competition that, if he wins, guarantees a fat scholarship to École des Beaux-Arts in France.

He’s got a plan though. Twice a week he ditches class to meet Kell in the cemetery that separates their two schools. Through an odd game of trading scars, and a little administrative blackmail, he convinces a very unwilling Kell to be his next model.

Jay only wanted to capture light reflecting off her torn surface, but after he starts working, he can’t help but want to paint it all, every layer down to the depths of her soul. But soon, Kell starts changing. With every session his work gets better, and she becomes colder, her eyes duller, and her wild emotions flatline.

And he realizes the same thing happened when he painted his ex-girlfriend.

Jay is sure to win another award for his new work, but this time is different. This time, he knows it’s happening, and this time, it’s Kell. Somehow her emotions are being absorbed into his painting and he’s not sure if he’s willing to sacrifice her for a scholarship, cash prize, and press write-up. 

What’s worse, he’s not sure if he can give up painting, his entire identity, on the slim chance it might save her.

SCARLIGHT is a WIP YA Magical Realism based off the old superstition that a photo can steal a piece of your soul.

Query blog hop

I've been MIA for a few weeks... got back-alley-jumped by the sick-fairy who hammered me with a sure-KO-combo of flu, cold, and the feeling of razor-blades down my throat that required a horse-sized dosage of antibiotics to kill off.

BUT, I found this query hop today (my first real? day of being back online) and I love queries, writing them, reading them, etc, so I thought it'd be fun to join in and get some feedback.

And the extra cool thing about it, is it's fine for WIP's too.

Since I'm a pantsing-style writer, I honestly don't know how the story is going to end yet, so my query is currently a little vague, other than the character arc/decision hanging over Jay's head. That, I always know :)

So, here we go!

Already famous at seventeen, Jason (Jay) Walker is an artist obsessed with light, but unlike the Impressionist painter, Monet, Jay would rather capture the reflective ripple of scar tissue instead of a sunrise over water.

Bored with the overly groomed, emotionally-cold girls from his elite private school, Jay wants to paint Kell, or rather the scars she hides under long-sleeved hoodies and skinny jeans. Twice a week, Jay ditches his tedious Art class to meet her in the cemetery which separates his school from the public fine-arts school she attends. Through an odd game of trading scars, and a little blackmail, he convinces Kell to be his next model.

Jay only wanted to capture her torn surface, but after he starts working, he can’t help but want to paint it all, every layer down to the depths of her soul. But soon, Kell starts changing. With every session his work gets better, and she becomes colder, her eyes duller, and her wild emotions flatline. 

And he realizes, the same thing happened to all his past subjects.

Jay is sure to win another award for his new work, but this time is different. This time, he knows it’s happening, and this time, it’s Kell. He’s not sure if he’s willing to sacrifice her for another cash prize, press write-up, and the fat scholarship he’s been offered to a famous art school. 

What’s worse, he’s not sure if he can give up painting on the slim chance it might save her.

SCARLIGHT is an in-progress YA Magical Realism based off the old superstition that a photo can steal a piece of your soul.

SIWC

Hi everyone!

I know, since I mostly went to YA workshops, my notes won't be 100% useful to everyone, but I think there's some good information that is also applicable to adult fiction/etc.

I will put them up in individual posts so no one is overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of my note-taking ways (7,629 words for 6 workshops...). I will try to get them all up tomorrow.

Please excuse any spelling/wording errors as I was typing pretty fast while trying to listen/absorb at the same time... you can give me points for enthusiasm, but probably not for 100% accuracy...


As for the conference? Well, yeah, it was awesome! A fabulous three days that was topped off on the final day by winning a pass to next year's conference... so, my plans for next year are already set :)


I had my agent pitch on Friday morning (no, not going to tell you her name/agency) where writers had 10 minutes to verbally pitch a *finished* project to either an editor or an agent. I was freaking nervous, but due to my... odd tendency to flip into power-extro-mode when I'm highly stressed, my pitch was over and done with in less than 3 minutes. Then we spent the rest of the time talking about sports, the west coast, and other things, including her completely kick-ass shade of neon-green nail polish (I WANT some for when I go down for the Seahawks game in a few weeks!!!)


If you're curious, this is the pitch I boiled down, and thankfully didn't stumble over (too much):

There are rules when you ride shotgun because the driver holds all power and responsibility, but after a bet goes wrong, a boy ends up dead, and the corpse is stashed in their trunk for disposal, two teens must reevaluate the rules of their relationship, and ultimately when to break them.

The twist is that the main character remains completely anonymous, as in, no name, and no defined gender.

To me, that kind of agent pitch was the perfect way to start off my first conference... It helped me relax and really hammered home that everyone there was passionate about writing. Probably, that is what spurred me on to talk to whoever I came across, sat with, or bumped into in the hallways. I haven't nerded-out about books like that since I was last in Victoria (almost a year ago!) with my writing group there... and it's something I am sorely missing.

I am very thankful to that agent :) I may not have had such a great conference experience if it hadn't started out in that way.


My Blue Pencil session was Saturday morning, and by sheer coincidence, the author who looked over the first 3 pages of 'The Rules of Riding Shotgun' knew the agent I pitched to... like, really well. I honestly had no idea... but that was kindof cool, and since I love the author's books, it was doubly cool how nice and friendly she was... and the fact that she laughed at the line on my first page about the shopping cart full of Depends ;) Yeah, that made me feel good ;)


Something I wasn't planning on doing, but ended up 'winging it', was pitching my 'pitch' in one of the workshops (after my agent pitch session) and getting feedback from the presenter and the other audience members, then I also did it with my query.

Both of those were more nerve-wracking then the agent pitch! ...probably because there were, like, 40-50 people in the room both times, but I'm glad I did them as I got some excellent feedback on my query (the IMPOSSIBLY annoying one that was insanely difficult to get into 3rd POV), which I'm going to update on my 'What I'm Writing' Page. It isn't too different, but there are a couple of significant changes that help make it a lot clearer, so that was awesome.

Someone even gave me the name of an author who has also written a gender-ambiguous character, so I'm going to have to check that out :) It's adult fiction though, not YA.


The only disappointment I had about the entire conference, is that I didn't know you could sign up for multiple pitch/Blue Pencil appointments if there were free slots... and only found out on the last day when it was too late. I have no idea how I missed that... but I totally would have taken advantage of as much feedback as possible.

Oddly enough, there was one off-handish comment in a workshop that made me completely re-evaluate a sequence of several scenes in 'The Rules of Riding Shotgun'. Guess you never know when something small you hear will make a big difference :)

Obvious, right?

Sometimes you whirl around a situation so many times you lose sight of the obvious. Until someone smacks you upside the head with it...

Thanks, Lydia for commenting. I really needed to be beaten-down with the obvious:

That query POV issue is always hard. You just have to pretend you're pitching it out loud to someone. It's hard!

So how do I talk about my murky main character when I'm talking to someone, out loud, about the story?

After 2.5 hours of sleep, I bolted awake at 4:30am this morning and typed this 3rd POV query for 'TRoRS' on my phone as an email to myself:

For the nameless, gender-ambiguous main character (MC), riding shotgun in Triss’ car is normal. So is sleeping in her car when it’s not safe to go home, and eating her leftovers cold from a brown paper bag. When the car starts breaking down, it’s normal for the MC to help when Triss gets involved in a twisted game of manipulation so she can pay for repairs. 

At parties Jackson hosts, their game runs on in the background, where they bet on who’s going to get wasted and do something stupid. The bets start out normal, but they quickly escalate until one night, everything goes wrong, and people aren’t like cards or poker chips. They have baggage. They get angry. They want revenge.

Six weeks after that party, Jackson ends up on the wrong side of dead, and now nothing is normal. There are rules when you ride shotgun, because the driver holds all power and responsibility, but when there’s a corpse in the trunk, the car is breaking down, and Triss starts to lose control, the MC must reevaluate the rules of their relationship, and ultimately when to break them.

THE RULES OF RIDING SHOTGUN is a 60,000 word YA Contemporary in the tradition of Courtney Summers and John Green, with a little bit of Justine Larbalestier’s LIAR mixed in. The main character has no name, and no defined gender, as relationships are all about the lines we draw, and the lines that are drawn for us.

Yeah. Still needs work. It's boring and not quite *voice-y* enough, but it's a place to start, and not bad considering I'm deliriously tired from almost two straight weeks of insomnia... or maybe I'm so overtired I can't tell good from bad anymore...

Thoughts? Impressions? The writing sucks, so I'm asking more about the angle... the points I'm focusing on.

Okay, I'm going to try to get a couple more hours sleep. Today's Flash Fiction Friday may go up later than normal, but it'll still be going up.

Rethinking writing

Some of the long-time followers know I sent off a small first-batch of queries back in November/December after winning one of the Miss Snark's First Victim/Authoress' Secret Agent contests.

I sent 10, only 10 (to test the water). I'm aware that is an absurdly low number.

Then my querying dried up due to the high volume of family members dying, being rushed to hospital/emergency, and coming down with terrible illness/afflictions.

Querying was so far down on my list of concerns that I barely got excited each time I was asked for a full/partial, and it barely phased me when (ultimately) the story was rejected by every agent who made a request. I was pretty numb about the whole thing, which is why I didn't send out any more or make any kind of further effort. In truth, I nearly forgot about it entirely.

About two weeks ago (just as I learned another relative has a very short time to live), I heard back from the second-to-last agent who still has the full.

...and that one hit me kindof hard.

It was a personalized response (I got a couple of those, which was nice/flattering), and it clearly pointed out the single major thing I have always worried about with 'Simon's Oath'.

When I wrote the ending... I knew I liked it. I was also completely aware that probably, out of 10 readers, 9 of them would hate the ending.

Now, the problem with 'SO' isn't the ending itself, it's the character arc of one of the two main characters, Simon.

Y'know how, at the wrap-up of every story, the main character hits the lowest point, has a revelation (of sorts), and then climbs back up, even if it's only a few feet?

My story ends with Simon still flat on his face. Sure, there's the implication that things will work out better for him... but he never truly climbs to his feet and takes a step in the right direction. Which doesn't work in the world of YA. In adult fiction, it would have been fine.*

The ending fits with his character, and while I find it satisfying, I was already aware that it would be a difficult sell, because while Simon changes and grows as a character... it's not really a vertical growth. He sinks deeper with every choice he makes and then the rug is (essentially) pulled out from under him in the end. It's not quite Hans Christian Anderson where the matchstick girl dies in the cold and the little mermaid dissolves into bubbles, but it certainly leans closer to that than a Disney-fied 'everyone lived happily ever after' kind of ending.

It's not just a simple matter of re-writing the ending because the failure in the Simon's character arc to turn up at the end makes the wrap-up feel too fast, disrupts the expected ebb/flow of the story, and leaves somewhat of a bad taste from what I had hoped was a bitter-sweet end.

The question now is... what will I do with it? 'Cause it's not an easy fix. I'll probably have to tear apart/re-write the last 1/3 of the story, maybe more.

I don't even know if it's something I can fix on my own, because I know I'm not objective.

Has anyone else had a major problem like this with a story? Did you stick with it, or abandon it like a single sock that's lost it's mate and never looked back?

Any suggestions would be completely welcome/appreciated :)



*which is probably why another agent suggested I re-write the book with an adult audience in mind.

Statistics of minor interest/curiosity

No laptop yet, so again, this will be another short iPhone post :)

Well, my curiosity got the best of me and I actually used my phone to scroll through the results for the Public Slushpile Contest.

Surprisingly, 11 out of 58 commenters said YES to my very rough query.

What's interesting (to me) is that most of the NO votes basically said, "Don't write in 1st person".

I anticipated this (and was expecting a high ratio of NO votes), but it also makes me wonder... how many of those NO votes were simply because it was in 1st person?

The standard format of queries is 3rd person, so how many people mistake 'standard format' with 'iron-clad-don't-ever-do-this-rule'?

The other most common comment was people thought they were reading my first page (as in, I was an idiot and submitted the wrong text) because I didn't put a 'Dear Agent...' line at the beginning. That missing line combined with a 1st person query... duh, of course that would make it seem like the first page, so yes I was an idiot to not foresee that happening.

It makes me wonder if I had included the 'Dear Agent...' line, if the YES/NO ratio would be any different.

BUT, all-in-all, I'm surprised my non-standard query garnered slightly better than a 1/6 YES rate.

Pushing the boundaries of what is possible is one of my defining characteristics as a person. I wouldn't be writing/attempting to get published if that were not the case. Actually, I can safely say the majority of my life choices are because I want to push my own boundaries. Sure, this makes things harder on myself, but when you succeed... there's no better feeling.

While the ratio of YES/NO votes may discourage someone else and send them back to the drawing board to re-write their query in 3rd person, I'm actually encouraged by the results.* I was going to consider it a win if I had 1/10 YES vote.

I was also incredibly pleased to see some genuinely helpful comments which I will certainly make use of when I do get around to re-writing this rough query into something presentable.

Query writing is incredibly difficult, but I must admit, I actually kinda find it fun :)

Oh, and here are a few fabulous posts I was able to read (but didn't comment on)!

A look at the Thelma & Louise movie for showing character through action (it's long, but worth it)

If you aren't already following Guilie's helpful posts from her SFWC experience, here's another great post which sort of brilliantly compliments this next link, which is:

...a lesson on perfect lines from Calvin and Hobbes, a comic from which I've divined much inspiration ;)



*Incidentally, with only 25 entires, 12 entries had the same number of YES votes as mine or less. 9 of those had single digit YES votes, 2 of which had 0 YES votes.

...and yes, that took me over an hour of scrolling on my phone to count. Hey, I'm obsessive! I admit it!

Well, I might not have luck with technology...

Still no word on when my laptop with be back, but my number was drawn in Authoress' new 'Public Slushpile Contest'.

...I was the second-to-last number drawn (#24) so please drop by, give it a read, and leave any helpful criticism you might have. If you want to say more than the allowed 'one sentence' (see below), by all means, come back here and write me a novel in the comment form. I consider no comment too small or too picky :)

...and I am expecting a lot of 'No's because mine is in 1st person.

The rules for the Public Slushpile Contest are:

• NO CRITIQUING THE QUERIES!
• Each comment needs to begin with YES or NO (meaning, it hooked you or not), followed by one sentence (one!) explaining why.
• One comment per reader.
• Comments that do not begin with YES or NO will not be included in the final tally.  (Because I value my eyeballs.  I need to be able to skim through the comment boxes and make quick counts.)
• The 5 queries with the most YES responses will be invited to submit their first 500 words.

I'm hoping I'll see some queries for projects (and writers) I recognize... but just in case, if anyone else is there, let me know your number and I'll make sure to leave comments for you :)

Calling all volunteers!

...in preparation for querying, I have finally written *the evil synopsis* for Simon's Oath.

From my extensive online research, it seems the best way to test it out is to have someone who knows next-to-nothing about the story read it and mark down where they were confused/etc.

...so, any volunteers?

I'm totally willing to offer small editing projects in return...

Proactive vs. Passive

This is a lesson I learned just recently.

In fact, it's one of the major reasons I re-wrote my *blurb* for Project #2. In the previous incarnation, the emphasis was about what was happening to/around the characters when, at the heart of the story, it's about an older brother desperately struggling to protect his younger brother.

The new title reflects this as well.

Sure, the characters ended up in a bad place, but that downward spiral is simply backstory, how they climb back up again... that's the real story. I know my blurb needs to be re-written again, but at least this version reflects the real story rather than the backstory, so I figure I'm on the right track.

What about your blurbs? Do they emphasize your characters being proactive, or does it seem like they are only reacting to what happens to them?

A kind of progress

To celebrate the fact that I've finally decided on a new title for Project #2, I have written a new *blurb* for my "What I'm Working On" page.

I would love it if you would drop by, read it, and let me know what you think... though it will have spoilers for those following the SSS posts.

Honestly, the whole blurb thing is pretty new to me, so any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

...and yes, I have toured Query Shark :)

Thanks!

Marshmallows, fear and popping your query-cherry

Okay, this is too awesome.

I am not yet at the stage where I am querying, but I have sent out one query, so I guess I'm like the kid that licked the marshmallow, but didn't bite it.

In the second week of January, I promised my writing group that I would finish my rough draft (of a 65,000 word story I had, at that time, only written 30,000 words of) and hand it over before I left the country on January 25th. So I got to work. I had about 3 weeks to write 35,000 words.

...and I wrote, a bit. I knew if I was late, my writing group wouldn't care (we're pretty lax about deadlines), and this looseness had slowly worn off on me over the years. I know I can write fast and hard when I need too, I just had to find a way to kick-start myself into *obsessive mode*.

And I found it about a week later when an online writing-buddy asked me to beta-read her submission for ABNA (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award)...something I'd never heard of. She told me about it and that the deadline was 3 days before my promised deadline to my writing group.

...so, y'know that obsessive part of my personality? Well, I figured holding myself accountable to an even earlier deadline would probably make me write faster.

And it did. I wrote those 35,000 words in 10 days (including 6,500 words on the day the contest opened), gave it a quick grammar check, then submitted it and didn't once look back. I was not going in with any false/elevated expectations. I was handing in a first draft in which I already knew the first two scenes needed a drastic re-write. I didn't care. I had sent myself an insane goal and I had accomplished it (and did manage to make it through the first round in the contest, when the VINE feedback nailed everything I already knew had to be re-written).

While I was half-insane/bleary-eyed at 12:10am on the day the contest opened, I haphazardly e-mailed off a query to an agent.

No, this wasn't an accident. I meant to do this and I even felt a pang of self-loathing when I did indeed receive that rejection e-mail.

When I first found out about the ABNA contest, I didn't immediately leap at it. In fact, I think it was almost a week after hearing about it that I decided to sign up. During that week I kept asking myself why wasn't I leaping at it? I mean, the deadline was only a few days earlier than I had originally planned. I wouldn't be doing more work than I was going to do in the first place. It was a first draft, so I didn't have any *great expectations*, so there was nothing to lose by not proceeding to the next round of the contest... so why not? Why was I hesitating? When I actually thought about it and laid everything out in this way, I realized that if I didn't enter, the only possible reason was that I was being a coward.

I was afraid of submitting and being rejected in some way.

So I submitted.

Then I submitted a query to an agent picked almost at random. Okay, not at random. That person seems really awesome online and I would have been ecstatic to work with them, and even though they rep YA, I think what I write is not exactly what they like... and that's okay, but I still don't recommend this. If I wasn't so caught up in facing my fears, (it's called tunnel-vision. It's the reason I will forget to eat for an entire day or why the dog has learned an intricate and annoying tap-dance to alert me when she needs to go outside), I would have realized the absurdity of doing so. I was wasting someone's time, and I hate wasting people's time. It's rude.

So, yeah, I did wrong, but I don't think of it as burning a bridge and at least I learned from my own mistake and won't repeat it in the future. Silver-lining folks. Even the bad has good.

The point is that I needed to face my fear and get it over with. Next time, when I send it to an agent I truly do want, when I get that rejection, it won't hurt quite so much. When you analyze a situation and the best reason for NOT doing something is fear... that's what I can't stand the most. I can handle a lot of things, but fear of something so silly as another person not liking my writing... all I could do was shake my head and tell myself to grow up and submit (yes that was intentional) :P

So how do you deal with fear?