I seem to be a little out of it this morning...
Since I am an absolute masochist when it comes to receiving criticism on my writing, I've submitted another first-draft (ugh) scene from Project # 4 over at Unicorn Bell.
It's the scene where I was able to fit in one particularly, um, interesting bit of description.*
Drop by, check it out, tell me where I can hack off a few limbs - I mean, where I can do better ;)
*seriously, I have no idea why there are always so many vomit references in my writing...
Showing posts with label Guest Post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Post. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Pizza-popsicles and other sticking points
I'm doing another guest post for Wicked & Tricksy, this time on the subject of beta-reading, and boy am I glad I wrote this out last week before I was kicked down by illness.
...yes, I'm going to explain that post title...
When beta-reading, I think my strengths lie in finding the logic problems in the story, from character development, to how a curtain rack would be secured to a wall. Seriously, I get obsessed with weird things and tend to over-think myself into a corner when I'm reading someone else's work.
So, the pizza-popsicle thing?
This term started in my writing group when one member included a time-traveling character obsessed with popsicles. At one point, the character wrapped a piece of pizza around a popsicle and fused it together somehow.
...and as I was reading that line, I got stuck.
...and I couldn't get past it 'cause my mind was churning in circles looking for a logical loop-hole in which it could believe that a frozen popsicle can be fused with a hot piece of pizza while each maintain their hot/cold states.
...and my tiny little brain spun and spun like a hyperactive hamster on a wheel that is somehow beyond the confines/rules of physics...
So a 'pizza-popsicle' refers to anything in a story that yanks you out of the suspension-of-disbelief state. It’s whenever you stop and have to think too much to understand something. It could be anything from wondering how long it takes a grenade to explode after the pin is pulled, to a word used in a line of dialogue that just doesn't feel *right* for the character speaking, so you stop and go back to double-check the dialogue tag. Sometimes you think a character is standing on one side of the room, then in the very next line he/she is suddenly coming through a door on the opposite side. It could be that moment of thinking, 'there's absolutely no reason for that guy to suddenly fall in love with her!'
It doesn't matter how large or small, it just has to disturb the flow of the story and remind you it is a story.
First-draft manuscripts are usually ripe with pizza-popsicles, but that's totally normal. Most of them will be pretty easy to resolve, either by cutting a small piece of information, or giving a bit more information somewhere else to clarify. Sometimes switching a few lines around so 'B' comes before 'A' will fix the problem. Other times it's not as easy to pinpoint or fix... like, if you had to read the same line several times for it to make sense, but you can’t explain why.
The hardest kind of pizza-popsicles are when the pizza-popsicle influences a large plot-point because, each time it's repeated, it'll pull you further and further out of the story and impact your ability to pay attention to things like pacing/etc. Like, one of my biggest sticking points is the *best friend* character who only exists in the story to show the reader that the MC isn’t a friendless-loser... and only pops up to cheer up the MC or be a sounding board when MC + love interest are having problems. After that they conveniently disapear. Whenever this kind of character shows up, I’m constantly asking myself why they are friends, especially if the MC never seems to seek out/help the best friend with anything. Usually the best friend has no plot arc of their own, so that is the actual problem that needs to be solved.
For these big/repetitive pizza-popsicles, I find it's always best to try to address them as soon as they first appear and clearly outline the implications throughout the story.
If you don't know if you have pizza-popsicles in your story, listen when a beta-reader says, 'Why didn't they just...' or 'I didn't understand how...' or asks a direct questions like, 'how long is the timer on a grenade?' That's your clue that they've tripped over a pizza-popsicle.
Even though they seem like small comments, pay close attention. Remember, anytime your reader stops to think, it means they have been jarred out of the flow of your story, which is not what you want to happen. I know it sounds wrong to say it, but you really don’t want your readers thinking while they read... you want them to be so engrossed that they keep turning the pages until the reach the end... and then pester you constantly until they can read your next work.
Have you come across problems like this when beta-reading for someone else? Or, if you’ve received comments back from your beta-reader, do some questions/comments seem unimportant in the great-scheme-of-things? Have you ever considered the larger implication of those kinds of picky questions?
Friday, September 30, 2011
The associated meaning of words
Today I'm doing a guest post at Wicked & Tricksy on the associated meaning of words (I know, I know... nerd-alert). Here's a taste of the article so, if you're interested, head on over to Wicked & Tricksy and read the whole thing.
EDIT: Since it appears the Wicked & Tricksy site is no longer up, I've reposted the entire thing here.
Description is often seen as something *dirty* in the writing world, on par with adverbs and clever dialogue tags. When description is done well, it can plunge a reader directly into a scene, but when done badly, a reader’s eyes will glaze over and start skimming.
“It was a dark and stormy night.”
...did you groan just then?
That’s a classic, yes I know how wonderful the book is, but to clarify my point, I'm going to use is as an example of a bad line of description. Its not bad in that it doesn’t make sense... it’s bad in that it’s boring. Of course it’s going to be dark when there’s a storm, ‘cause clouds are blocking out the sun. It’s also normal that it's dark at night, like so normal it isn't even worth mentioning.
That line of description is not only literal, it’s repetitive. Neither of which are food for the imagination.
It can be tempting to *fix* boring description by whipping out that thesaurus and hammering the reader with a string of words usually found in the vocabulary section of the SATs. This can lead to overly wordy sentences that will tangle up your tongue like a Cirque du Soleil contortionist if one ever tried to read the line out loud.
So here’s something to think about. Beyond their dry, dictionary definition, you can hunt up words to use based on their associated meanings. Think of it like baggage that each word is carting around.
Do you remember having to diagram brainstorm clouds in school? Like, if you were researching pandas, you’d write ‘Panda’ in the center of a piece of paper, then draw connecting lines to things associated with pandas, like China, bamboo, habitat, endangered animals, zoo, etc.
The same idea works when you’re trying to describe something.
Let’s pick something easy, like describing an evening sky. If it’s a *dark and stormy night* that you’re imagining, what are some of the associated meanings you could use to make it more interesting? Well, storm clouds are wet because they contain rain, which weighs them down. The rest of the sky would be blotted out, the air would feel moist and perhaps charged with electricity, which has elements of excitement and danger. The clouds and the rain would wash a layer of grey over the surrounding area and dull any vibrant colors.
So what tone are you seeking with your evening sky? If your character is depressed or has had a major set-back, then concentrating on the grey washing away color, or the thick moisture in the air which makes breathing difficult would be a place to start. Words like ‘smothering’, ‘heavy’, ‘drowning’, ‘faded’ are all visceral words that could be used to set your evening atmosphere. The surrounding noises could be ‘muted’ or ‘choked out’ by the sound of rain.
If your character is heading out on an adventure with danger lurking in the darkness, then maybe the wildness and destructive element of the storm is what you want to accentuate. ‘Spark’ and ‘crackle’ could describe the sounds of the storm, or the anxiety and excitement of the character. The idea of being ‘wrapped’ or ‘hidden’ by the clouds brings to mind camouflage, or words like ‘slink’,‘glide’, ‘creep’, and 'dart', which would normally be used to describe a person, can be used for their association of stealth.
Think of what your character is doing, what they are thinking, their state of mind, their deepest desires and their most terrifying fears.
On the other end of things, make sure the words you do choose mesh well with their associated meanings... for example, I’ve read lines describing teeth being squished together, or a bloated knife being stabbed into someone’s leg. Both ‘squished’ and ‘bloated’ are words that have no associated meaning with stiff, unyielding substances. Metal can’t be ‘inflated’ or ‘engorged’, teeth and bone can’t ‘bend’ or ‘twist’, scents don’t flutter across someone’s skin and a taste can’t 'ring' in one’s mouth.
Be wary of the baggage words drag around. If you’re careful, the layers of associated meaning will amplify your story and your descriptions, but used poorly, it will feel like you opened that thesaurus to a random page and started filling in the blanks.
I think the best description is when the associated meanings can be twisted and hit the reader in a way they don't expect. Normally positive words like 'cute' can be used as a vicious put-down, if, for example, it's being associated with a small animal/pet, something lower on the evolutionary scale, or perhaps the undeveloped reaction or stature of a child. It all depends if the associated meanings are positive or negative.
One example of amazing description was in 'Imaginary Girls' by Nova Ren Suma, which I read recently. In the first chapter, there's this description of the reservoir:
"Less dangerous would be the reservoir itself, too large to keep track of in the night - an oil spill instead of a mapped and measured ocean."
In a single line, you not only get an idea of what it looks like (black, slick and reflective), but you get the idea of how the narrator views this body of water: a man-made disaster that kills/destroys and is impossible to fully contain, or un-do.
...all that from describing it as 'an oil spill'.
Description doesn't have to mean pages of purple prose... more often than not, a single image that someone can visualize or relate to will be much more powerful.
Go through your favourite books, seek out the snippets of description and analyze them. What specific words were used and what other images/feelings/sensations could be associated with them?
...and maybe, just for fun, re-write the line, 'It was a dark and story night' with your character and your setting. See how much information you can layer in there, simply through a few choice words/images.
EDIT: Since it appears the Wicked & Tricksy site is no longer up, I've reposted the entire thing here.
Description is often seen as something *dirty* in the writing world, on par with adverbs and clever dialogue tags. When description is done well, it can plunge a reader directly into a scene, but when done badly, a reader’s eyes will glaze over and start skimming.
“It was a dark and stormy night.”
...did you groan just then?
That’s a classic, yes I know how wonderful the book is, but to clarify my point, I'm going to use is as an example of a bad line of description. Its not bad in that it doesn’t make sense... it’s bad in that it’s boring. Of course it’s going to be dark when there’s a storm, ‘cause clouds are blocking out the sun. It’s also normal that it's dark at night, like so normal it isn't even worth mentioning.
That line of description is not only literal, it’s repetitive. Neither of which are food for the imagination.
It can be tempting to *fix* boring description by whipping out that thesaurus and hammering the reader with a string of words usually found in the vocabulary section of the SATs. This can lead to overly wordy sentences that will tangle up your tongue like a Cirque du Soleil contortionist if one ever tried to read the line out loud.
So here’s something to think about. Beyond their dry, dictionary definition, you can hunt up words to use based on their associated meanings. Think of it like baggage that each word is carting around.
Do you remember having to diagram brainstorm clouds in school? Like, if you were researching pandas, you’d write ‘Panda’ in the center of a piece of paper, then draw connecting lines to things associated with pandas, like China, bamboo, habitat, endangered animals, zoo, etc.
The same idea works when you’re trying to describe something.
Let’s pick something easy, like describing an evening sky. If it’s a *dark and stormy night* that you’re imagining, what are some of the associated meanings you could use to make it more interesting? Well, storm clouds are wet because they contain rain, which weighs them down. The rest of the sky would be blotted out, the air would feel moist and perhaps charged with electricity, which has elements of excitement and danger. The clouds and the rain would wash a layer of grey over the surrounding area and dull any vibrant colors.
So what tone are you seeking with your evening sky? If your character is depressed or has had a major set-back, then concentrating on the grey washing away color, or the thick moisture in the air which makes breathing difficult would be a place to start. Words like ‘smothering’, ‘heavy’, ‘drowning’, ‘faded’ are all visceral words that could be used to set your evening atmosphere. The surrounding noises could be ‘muted’ or ‘choked out’ by the sound of rain.
If your character is heading out on an adventure with danger lurking in the darkness, then maybe the wildness and destructive element of the storm is what you want to accentuate. ‘Spark’ and ‘crackle’ could describe the sounds of the storm, or the anxiety and excitement of the character. The idea of being ‘wrapped’ or ‘hidden’ by the clouds brings to mind camouflage, or words like ‘slink’,‘glide’, ‘creep’, and 'dart', which would normally be used to describe a person, can be used for their association of stealth.
Think of what your character is doing, what they are thinking, their state of mind, their deepest desires and their most terrifying fears.
On the other end of things, make sure the words you do choose mesh well with their associated meanings... for example, I’ve read lines describing teeth being squished together, or a bloated knife being stabbed into someone’s leg. Both ‘squished’ and ‘bloated’ are words that have no associated meaning with stiff, unyielding substances. Metal can’t be ‘inflated’ or ‘engorged’, teeth and bone can’t ‘bend’ or ‘twist’, scents don’t flutter across someone’s skin and a taste can’t 'ring' in one’s mouth.
Be wary of the baggage words drag around. If you’re careful, the layers of associated meaning will amplify your story and your descriptions, but used poorly, it will feel like you opened that thesaurus to a random page and started filling in the blanks.
I think the best description is when the associated meanings can be twisted and hit the reader in a way they don't expect. Normally positive words like 'cute' can be used as a vicious put-down, if, for example, it's being associated with a small animal/pet, something lower on the evolutionary scale, or perhaps the undeveloped reaction or stature of a child. It all depends if the associated meanings are positive or negative.
One example of amazing description was in 'Imaginary Girls' by Nova Ren Suma, which I read recently. In the first chapter, there's this description of the reservoir:
"Less dangerous would be the reservoir itself, too large to keep track of in the night - an oil spill instead of a mapped and measured ocean."
In a single line, you not only get an idea of what it looks like (black, slick and reflective), but you get the idea of how the narrator views this body of water: a man-made disaster that kills/destroys and is impossible to fully contain, or un-do.
...all that from describing it as 'an oil spill'.
Description doesn't have to mean pages of purple prose... more often than not, a single image that someone can visualize or relate to will be much more powerful.
Go through your favourite books, seek out the snippets of description and analyze them. What specific words were used and what other images/feelings/sensations could be associated with them?
...and maybe, just for fun, re-write the line, 'It was a dark and story night' with your character and your setting. See how much information you can layer in there, simply through a few choice words/images.
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