...and thanks again for those who left comments and offered constructive criticism :) Thanks to one commenter, I was able to figure out why one particular sentence has always bugged me, and that was awesome. For those who have something to say, but are concerned about leaving negative remarks in the comments section... feel free to me-mail! Seriously, I want to know :)
Last time, you met Hector, the younger brother, so here's the next six sentences:
Simon’s stomach flipped and grumbled, but Faith had not touched her meal. Rather, she had curled up even tighter, her forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window. Her face was scrunched into a scowl of concentration and Simon stole another backward glance at his brother. The hollows in Hector’s cheeks and the gaunt angles of his narrow ribcage showed clearly through the servant’s uniform. Simon’s stomach twisted again, this time from anxiety, and in desperation, he reached out to Faith.
“Y...your hair is in knots, little princess. Why don’t you let me brush it for you.”
I'm going to be skipping the next couple SSS's as I'm taking off to the family cabin where internet is non-existent and even cell signals are spotty.
Oh, one more thing, I created a tab at the top of this page so you can read from the beginning if you so choose. Grammar is definitely my weakest point, so if you find something, nail me :) ...and I'll thank you ;)