Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Suspense shred by Unicorn Bell

So, I promised you a link :)

Go, read, leave your thoughts there, or come back here. I'd be interested in seeing your comments on this scene, especially those of you who have read the previous snippets and know more of what's going on.

...now, on to read it myself ('cause I haven't yet)


Since they didn't post the scene unedited, here it is:


  1. @ prerna

    Not brave... perhaps, opportunistic? Since I always love the chance to get someone to comment on my work without holding back :)

    Since this is first-draft material, this was an excellent chance to find out how readable my first-drafts are becoming... since they have improved dramatically in the last few years ;)

  2. I would read more especially after seeing the background that you posted at Unicorn Bell explaining the nature of your unusual MS.

    Very, very cool.

    Really this is my kind of story, filled with juxtaposition and 'what if'.

  3. @ Huntress

    Well, so far I've posted between 5,000 and 6,000 words on this site... If you click 'Project #4' from my labels and read chronologically, there's a pretty good chunk. The NaNo labels also include nibbles, but not large chunks.

    It's all first-draft material, though... so undoubtably there are many a silly mistake and run-on-sentence ;)

    ...and I'm always up for a critique/shred, so if you do poke around and see something that bothers you, feel free to boldly point it out :)

  4. I didn't agree with everything in the critique but I like the way she pulled it tighter (getting rid of 'has' and 'was' in a few places, for instance).

    I still can't decide if I want to find out that the MC is male or female :-)

  5. @ Sarah

    Yup, I used their critique to tighten the section up, but some of the things they disagreed on were stylistic choices... so I left those as-is for now.

    I have... an inkling which gender the character is... but I don't know for sure and I have to admit, I get weird about having secret little challenges for myself within a story... and obviously the little challenge here is to write an entire novel while leaving the gender of the MC undefined.

    I have no idea if it'll be any good, but I like to stretch and play with writing, shake it up a little ;)

    But I'm like that in all things... art, cooking, learning new trades, etc. I don't like doing the same thing everytime. It's way more fun to try new things :)


Type me out a line of Shakespeare or a line of nonsense. Dumb-blonde-jokes & Irish jokes will make me laugh myself silly :)