This weekend is not only the long weekend for Canadian Thanksgiving, but today is actually my parents' 40th wedding anniversary! So I'll be on the mainland eating turkey and spending the day being thankful, especially for my wonderful family.
For all you awesome people who drop by today... what are you thankful for?
Last time the brothers were scolded by the madam 'cause Faith was throwing a fit, and then...
There was a smattering of giggles and Hector shyly glanced at the half-dozen ladies perched on red couches in their lace and satin, uniforms of their station like the brown trousers and white shirts that the brothers wore. Most of them were around Simon’s age, but the small serving girls, bleary eyed from carrying trays of food and drinks all night, were ten, or maybe a little younger. With their half-starved bodies stuffed into layers of cloth and their eyes and lips painted with coal and rouge, they could appear to be years older or younger than their true age. The only clear indicator was the hair. Only girls who had reached the age of eight could tie up their hair and enter the red district. Though not a dignified position in society, it guaranteed they would not starve on the streets, die in the mines, or drown in the river or sea.
Wow, this is so vivid and emotive. Great six.
ReplyDeleteEmotionally charged six!
ReplyDeleteA very grim society is outlined here... unfortunately, one whose main lines are quite familiar. A lot goes into these six lines.
ReplyDeleteSounds sad. :-( Nice six.
ReplyDeleteThe details that create this atmosphere are as chilling as they are captivating.
ReplyDeletewonderful insight into the customs and culture of the world
ReplyDeleteand Happy Turkey day to you too
Such a grim six that evokes so much emotion. Great six.
ReplyDeleteI'm so intrigued by this world. Love the painted children and the struggle to survive. (I know, I'm a sadist.)
ReplyDeleteGreat six :-) The imagery was vivid.
ReplyDeleteAnd enjoy your time. I'm thankful everyday for breath, mobility, and a somewhat clear mind, most of the time :-)
Wow, such an emotional six
ReplyDeleteYou've packed so much in six! Great job!
ReplyDeleteEmotional and grim. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteVery nice six. Very vivid and touching. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGreat details! Terrific job.
ReplyDeleteWonderful description through Hector's eyes, though such a terrible scene depicted. Compelling, as always.
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving!
Heartbreaking.
ReplyDeletewow, eight? Harsh world your characters live in...but utterly intriguing.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to read, but that's just testimony to how vividly you've portrayed this world. Well done!
ReplyDeleteWhat's the year-length on this planet?
ReplyDeleteWhat a great description that captures the essence of the era. All in six sentences. Wow!
ReplyDeleteLots of info crammed into that big block of sentences.
ReplyDeleteWow, how sad. =c( Great writing, though. And as for what I'm happy for, it truly has to be my family, although my kids are running me crazy at the moment so I say that through clenched teeth, lol. Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Anniversary to the 'rents!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is beautiful and flows so smooth. Loved your descriptive voice. Great six :)
ReplyDeleteA vivid setting of the backdrop for the brothers' struggles. I can't help myself though--shouldn't it be eyes painted with kohl? My wiki-addiction pops up--"Kohl is an ancient eye cosmetic. It was made by grinding galena (lead sulfide) and other ingredients. It is widely used ... darken the eyelids and as mascara for the eyelashes....mostly by women, but also some men and children." As opposed to the coal burned for fuel. Sorry, disengaging wiki-craziness...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I didn't find these six sentences intriguing or captivating. I found the writing flowery and wordy. Say what you mean and quite trying to make it sound pretty.
ReplyDeletey'know, I totally don't mind if people don't like what I write, but have the guts to put your name if you're gonna diss me, okay? I mean seriously... it's not like I'm childish enough that I'm going to go to your website and retaliate or anything. To each his own.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you, Lynne, that's probably the word I really wanted ;) You are totally awesome for correcting my error ;)
for those of you concerned about the age of 8... historically, that's about the age girls did enter temples or other prostitution-like institutions. Often they would *retire* from the lifestyle when they hit puberty and the risk of pregnancy became a concern. In Egypt, they were essentially *serving the gods* in this manner and would then get married when they retired.
Human history is pretty interesting, though certainly ideas of morality/etc have definitely changed in our modern times :)
I just assumed that the young serving girls were not the prostitutes--as they got older they'd transition into the job--sort of like an apprenticeship.
ReplyDeleteThought that the writing was smooth and very descriptive. I enjoyed reading it a lot. I actually thought you were describing a place in Europe during the 17 1800s. :-)
@ Karysa
ReplyDeleteYes, that was exactly what I was going for.
A grim world indeed. Less for the other thing then just the 'alternate' job prospects outlined.
ReplyDeleteI love this sample! :D What a fantastically dismal world you've created here, my reader mind wants to know more! I'm definitely intrigued, great six here ^_^
ReplyDeleteSo sad, but I love the description.
ReplyDelete