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Last time Hector watched (helplessly) as the madam hit Simon in the face and demanded to know what he had done to 'the girl'...
“I only tried to - ”
Before Simon could finish, she slapped him again.
Hector pushed his face into Simon’s back and squeezed his eyes shut, but he couldn’t escape the sound of the blow or the shuddering recoil of his brother’s body.
There was silence, and when Hector emerged, the madam was staring down at him, her rouged lips curled in bloody disgust. Across her left canine was a vivid curl of red stain and the flash of red on white was momentarily beautiful against her dark hair and golden skin.
“The two of you are useless,” the madam snarled, and the beauty was gone.
OMG! Is she a vampire? Love it!
ReplyDeleteThe madam sounds like my kind of character... LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, the blood on the the canine...sounds like a vampire. I guess she's really ticked off, eh? Nice 6.
ReplyDeleteNicely paced scene and as they say - living the moments. I like.
ReplyDeleteWhew...great visuals...felt like I was there watching. Nice 6 :)
ReplyDeleteYou used colour to good advantage here. I see why some readers thought "vampire" - loved the line - and the beauty was gone.
ReplyDeleteWow, she's one scary bitch.
ReplyDeleteOuch. Mystery deepening!
ReplyDeleteBarb
this is such an intriguing story. I want more!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely different from the last time I read this. You really feel this with Hector.
ReplyDeleteShe's one tough customer. Great visual with the red stained canine tooth.
ReplyDeleteMore mystery. Love it
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this! Beautiful writing.
ReplyDeleteMakes me more and more curious about the world.
ReplyDeleteI like the mysteriousness here. It makes e curious about what comes next! Great six!
ReplyDeleteAmy Durham
I love the oposites -- beauty and then it was gone. A powerful six.
ReplyDeleteVery well done. I'll have to go back and check out the previous six.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great juxtaposition--the beauty of the red and the horribleness of the woman. Great six!
ReplyDeleteGotta love a dominant female. But I wonder about these males, are they really as submissive as they seem? :)
ReplyDeleteHector is definitely a different individual. And the madam has tales to tell and not pleasant ones. But what about the girl? Love this six. Great description!
ReplyDeleteSome great personalities peeking through here. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat visual and emotions. I don't like her and pity them.
ReplyDeleteVivid curl of red on her canine. Nice. Good use of color here.
ReplyDeleteWow, very powerful. Great 6.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful :) Excited for next Sunday's addition!
ReplyDeleteLoved the action. The choreography of characters written brilliantly!
ReplyDeleteOh, scary!
ReplyDeleteWonderful villainess! You brought the scene to vivid life with your description. Well done!
ReplyDelete'...vivid curl of red stain ...'<<Love it! Nice 6. :o)
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me the madam might not be human ... which leaves me wondering about the other two, also. Nicely done! :o)
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing is wonderful, but I particularly liked "momentarily beautiful" - impactful, that!
ReplyDeleteTense scene. That madam is one scary lady! Great six...
ReplyDeleteGreat atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the agent opportunity! Intriguing situation--more conflict and more questions!
ReplyDelete