Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Hooks & Hangers Blogfest: Hangers!

Okay, somehow Blogger just decided to destroy my post... so this is a fix/re-post.

Second day for the Hooks & Hangers blogfest, so here's my Hangers for 'Brake Fluid, Blood & Body Bags'. Right now, too many of them end on the night Jackson died, so as I add words during my first editing pass, most of the hooks/hangers will change as I move scenes and re-cut chapters.

One small note, I will not be commenting on blogs with word verification this time as I get an instant migraine trying to prove I'm human.

Word verification is not dyslexic-friendly :(

Some other members of this blogfest included one-line pitches (which were fun to read), so here's mine for 'Brake Fluid':

A nameless, gender-ambiguous teen rides shotgun with Triss, the driver of the car and situation, on a mission to dump the corpse of a classmate whose death they might have, sortof, maybe had something to do with.

Chapter 1

Maybe I should have mentioned that Jackson’s not freshly dead.

Chapter 2

It’s been two days since Jackson died and we haven’t opened the trunk since we shoved him in there.

Chapter 3

They clinked glasses, though his was empty.

Chapter 4

Triss is the only warm thing I have.

Chapter 5

“You know I only need you.”

Chapter 6

So I left Kate in a heap and didn’t look back.

Chapter 7

I couldn’t believe I felt guilty, and it wasn’t ‘cause of Fay.

Chapter 8 (sorry, I had to add the second-to-last-line)

And I swear Jackson almost hit her right there, but he didn’t. That happened later.

Chapter 9

It’s the old lady and she’s royally pissed.

Chapter 10

I know I’m a coward, and as the crippling fear drains away, my stomach goes queazy, like I’m about to be sick.

Chapter 11

And the night would have ended safely if Spence hadn’t walked into the kitchen right then with the key to Jackson’s bedroom in his hand and an apology on his lips.

Chapter 12

“Oh shit,” I say, and drop the phone without erasing it.

Chapter 13 (the absolute worst of the lot -> told ya run-on sentences are a problem in my first drafts!)

Even though I was too slow to realize there weren’t a million cars lining the street like there normally was for one of Jackson’s parties, I should have known something was wrong when he opened the door that night.

Chapter 14

“How about a new game?” he had asked.

Chapter 15

The game was always just him and Triss.

Chapter 16

His eyes rode over Triss and fell on me.

Chapter 17

"Pick the high card and I’ll tell you who’s in my bedroom right now.”

Chapter 18

“We’ll need big, black garbage bags and duct tape.”

Chapter 19

Haha, fooled ya. No way I'm posting my last line!


  1. I really like chapters six and eight, very good :)

  2. These are really excellent. I'm blown away by Chapter 1. That one left me with chills and "What the . . . ?"

    Great job.

  3. Wow, these are awesome. 1, 2 and 6 are definitely my favorites!

  4. I think those are all really great. Definitely would keep me turning the pages.

  5. Um, these are awesome! Well done. You got my attention right away!

  6. Ch. 19 is my favorite. What an interesting line. :)

  7. Ah, the first two really creeped me out, but most importantly, completely grabbed my attention!

  8. funky dead bodies! ah! great hangers!

  9. These are all excellent! Wish you would have posted the last line... :)

  10. Great hookers and hangers. Love the title you have given it also. So many great hangers, I am starting to feel like a broken record in commenting because everyone I have read so far today has knock out endings. Enjoyed reading your post.

  11. These are so good. They're perfect ways to end chapters for this book. I love 1 and 18.

  12. Loved one and two. Now that's how to keep your readers hanging around!

  13. I still like 1 don’t think I’ve seen 4...

    Usually a million cars lined the street for one of Jackson’s parties, but I was slow to realise this, and still should have known something was wrong when he opened the door that night.

    I sometimes have to prove I’m human 3 times very time consuming

  14. Your story sounds exciting. I'm glad you included the pitch because it seems to focus the action at least a little bit more. Great work, and don't beat yourself up over a run-on sentence in a first draft... I like to think of them more as a stream of consciousness you shouldn't mess with until way later!

  15. Love those last lines! I thought your pitch was great, then I read your hangers and I couldn't pick a favourite one :) Well done! I didn't post the very last line of my WIP either, I didn't want to give everything away... thanks for stopping by my blog!

  16. Wow, so many I like. 1's a good line. 18 is is my fav.

  17. The chapter 2 hanger is awesome!! My favorite :)

  18. 2 and 18 are my faves :) Loved these!

  19. Great lines.

    I like dark edgy stuff too, so your story sounds like something I'd love to read.

    I love this line in your pitch:
    'they might have, sortof, maybe had something to do with.'

    That's great.

  20. These are all great and I'm intrigued to read the whole thing; I think the first one really draws me in though.

  21. The first two are great. I'm intrigued.

  22. Holy crap! How did Jackson die, and why is his body in the trunk?!?! FOR TWO DAYS??!?!?!???! (I would keep reading!)

  23. Yeah! I'm glued in with line 1 and more glued with line 2!!!

  24. I hate word verification too. Some really great hangers and I enjoyed your short description. Looking forward to seeing more of your WIP!

  25. #1 and #2 have me so hooked! EXCELLENT HANGERS!

  26. #8 about Jackson almost hitting her is not just a cliffhanger, it has foreshadowing! #18 about the duct tape is what you need for the last line of the second-to-last chapter.

  27. I am totally digging the not freshly dead sentence. It just makes the rest of them that much more intriguing!

  28. #1 really sets the tone. I also love 17 and 18. Great hangers!

  29. The first 2 hooked me. I know, I know it's hangers. This story is so cool. And unique. Good luck with it.

    Thanks for participating!!

  30. Oh man, I LOVE this. It seems fun and twisted and sick and wrong, all of which are my favoritest things. *makes grabby hands* I want to read this so bad now

  31. Great pitch! "Might have, sort of" - I love it. :) Your title is awesome, too.

    Wonderful hangers. I'm intrigued to read the whole thing! #10 is great.

  32. 1, 2, and 9 are great :) I LOVVE 9. Crazy old ladies are awesome :)

  33. Wow, these are amazing!!! Sounds like your book will make me laugh and give me nightmares at the same time, lol.

  34. Wow, that was quite a ride. In just those lines, I got a really strong sense of your voice. Well done.

  35. I'm so glad I made it back here for the hangers. Those were terrific! And I'm so sorry to hear Jackson's dead. Yes, my Jackson fares slightly better, I'm happy to say ... but not much. :/


Type me out a line of Shakespeare or a line of nonsense. Dumb-blonde-jokes & Irish jokes will make me laugh myself silly :)