Second day for the Hooks & Hangers blogfest, so here's my Hangers for 'Brake Fluid, Blood & Body Bags'. Right now, too many of them end on the night Jackson died, so as I add words during my first editing pass, most of the hooks/hangers will change as I move scenes and re-cut chapters.
One small note, I will not be commenting on blogs with word verification this time as I get an instant migraine trying to prove I'm human.
Word verification is not dyslexic-friendly :(
Some other members of this blogfest included one-line pitches (which were fun to read), so here's mine for 'Brake Fluid':
A nameless, gender-ambiguous teen rides shotgun with Triss, the driver of the car and situation, on a mission to dump the corpse of a classmate whose death they might have, sortof, maybe had something to do with.
Maybe I should have mentioned that Jackson’s not freshly dead.
It’s been two days since Jackson died and we haven’t opened the trunk since we shoved him in there.
They clinked glasses, though his was empty.
Triss is the only warm thing I have.
“You know I only need you.”
So I left Kate in a heap and didn’t look back.
I couldn’t believe I felt guilty, and it wasn’t ‘cause of Fay.
Chapter 8 (sorry, I had to add the second-to-last-line)
And I swear Jackson almost hit her right there, but he didn’t. That happened later.
It’s the old lady and she’s royally pissed.
I know I’m a coward, and as the crippling fear drains away, my stomach goes queazy, like I’m about to be sick.
And the night would have ended safely if Spence hadn’t walked into the kitchen right then with the key to Jackson’s bedroom in his hand and an apology on his lips.
“Oh shit,” I say, and drop the phone without erasing it.
Chapter 13 (the absolute worst of the lot -> told ya run-on sentences are a problem in my first drafts!)
Even though I was too slow to realize there weren’t a million cars lining the street like there normally was for one of Jackson’s parties, I should have known something was wrong when he opened the door that night.
“How about a new game?” he had asked.
The game was always just him and Triss.
His eyes rode over Triss and fell on me.
"Pick the high card and I’ll tell you who’s in my bedroom right now.”
“We’ll need big, black garbage bags and duct tape.”
Haha, fooled ya. No way I'm posting my last line!