Monday, March 26, 2012

1 Picture = 1000 Words

It's time for Unicorn Bell's A Picture Paints 1000 Words Blogfest.

Here's the image I chose:

I chose the least fantasy-ish image, and since my laptop was dead or dying for the last 2 weeks, I didn't much time 'cause I only got it back Saturday afternoon and then had to install the OS, transfer all my data, etc, so please forgive the rough nature.

I decided 1,000 words was too long, so I stuck to exactly 500 words.


Into The Woods

On the way into the woods, James always took my hand and helped me down steep ravines, over fallen logs, and across meandering streams. When playtime was over, he walked far ahead and left me to stumble on my own. Behind his brother’s back, Alex shoved and poked me with sharp sticks. He’d bend saplings which would spring back and whip my face and hands. He’d spit and say I was a city-girl. That I was noisy and would scare the deer. That I should stick to sidewalks instead of crawling on animal trails through the thick underbrush. Alex reminded me how easy it was to get hurt in the woods.

He was right. My hair and dress would snag on twigs and my white shoes and stockings would be dyed black from wading through swamps of foul-smelling mud. My bare limbs would sting and bleed from flushing birds who had nested deep within briars or a tangle of nettles. But it was worth it.

When we’d get back to the farmhouse, James would bandage my scrapes and worry about my pretty clothes. He’d wash them clean before mother came to pick me up, and while they were drying on the clothesline, I’d be bundled in one of his huge, plaid shirts that tickled my nose with the smell of sunshine and warm grass.

I’d smell like James did before we went into the woods.

When we came out, he always smelled like blood.

Sometimes he carried an air rifle, sometimes a bow and quiver of arrows. He shot raccoons from the dark crooks of tall cedar trees and bright-eyed fawns in sun-dappled glens. When I’d flush nesting pheasants, James would dress my hair in their feathers while Alex thrashed the wild grass flat with a stick and hide tiny eggs in his shirt pocket. I watched as a coyote’s growls went silent and crouched close to see the final, twitching kicks of a tawny rabbit. We pulled quills from a dead porcupine one afternoon and ate blackberries until my hands were stained nearly as dark as James’ hands. He didn’t suck his fingers clean like I did.

Alex didn’t have to, but he always came with us into the woods. Though James never touched me on the way back, Alex became kinder. He’d hold back branches and point out gnarled roots I might trip over. He’d pick thorns from my skirt and mutter that he’d expect nothing less from a city-girl. That I was trouble, annoying, stupid. Gently, he’d untangle my hair and gather handfuls of wild dock to ease the stinging nettle welts on my bare skin.

Every time mother dropped me off, she’d ask what we were going to do, and I’d tell her that we would play in the woods.

She’d warn me to stay safe. To not get dirty.

I never knew how to explain how that was impossible. For James only took my hand on the way into the woods.

37 comments:

  1. I really love the feel of this excerpt, and the way you differentiated between the two brothers' personalities based on how they behaved toward the girl. The entry fits the image beautifully!

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  2. I like this one, it's very different from some of the other pieces out there today.

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    1. probably 'cause I went more contemporary due to the image I chose ;)

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    1. uhm, it wasn't really supposed to be sweet... but I guess that's okay too :)

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  4. I like how you contrast the behavior of the two brothers to the girl, not just with each other, but how their behavior toward her seems to change between going in and coming out. Good job!

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  5. I agree with all the above but one. There was a strange sense of foreboding in there for me. I couldn't help but wonder what James would have done to her if Alex hadn't been along. Maybe I'm a bit twisted.

    Great images though and bless you for going shorter.

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    1. Thank YOU, Charity :D

      ...hey, there's some dark corners in that forest picture... of course there's going to be a hint of something foreboding ;)

      Interestingly enough, If I continued writing this piece, it's the girl I find most disturbing. After all, she's the one who wants to go into the woods in the first place...

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    2. Charity and I must have been on the same wavelength, b/c I was waiting for something bad to happen, lol. I loved it. Good job.

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    3. You are so right about her being disturbing as well. :) I love me some darkness.

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  6. This was such a sweet tale. The city girl going into the woods. Sounds like hunting going on but it also sounds like a unique relationship built with each visit between the unnamed girl and the brothers.

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    1. Thanks, Angela! ...though you might notice that there's no mention of them bringing any of the animals they killed OUT of the forest ;)

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  7. what an amazingly well written piece. I could picture everything perfectly, and not because of the photo.

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  8. yes, there was definitely a sense of foreboding. I got the feeling that if the piece went on longer something bad would've happened - or maybe I should say something worse than a great many animals being hunted to death.

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    1. Oh, yeah. You definitely hit the nail on the head with your comment :)

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  9. I'm not myself today - don't know who I am and I just read this and not sure I gave it the attention that all your writing deserves, so bear (bare?) with me. Yes a sense of foreboding. And lucky I read the comments and realised that the behaviour of James and Alex changed with the entering and leaving the forest. And yes the story makes me want more---more explanation. And I noticed the first person :D I'll read it again tomorrow. Knowing you, it probably wasn't a "sweet" story.

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    1. yes, knowing me... ;)

      I don't think I could write a sweet story if I tried :)

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  10. Very interesting. Certainly get the feeling that the boy's feeling towards the girl slowly start to swing the opposite way going out as they are going in.

    And I worry about James.

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    1. I worry about James too, but perhaps not in the same way you are :)

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  11. what exciting times! reminds me of stories my dad told me about his youth, unsupervised!

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    1. Unsupervised fun is always the best :)

      ...though children are naturally cruel beings...

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  12. Interesting . . . makes me wonder about the girl's motives.

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    1. ...yup, which is why I'm more disturbed by her than the brothers.

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  13. Layers and layers of intrigue here. "Foreboding"? yes. But more.
    I still have chills after reading your piece. I wonder what a full novel would do *shiver*

    Well written. Expertly timed. It's gonna take a while for me to get this out of my head.

    This is almost horror. Am I correct?

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    1. Psychological horror, I suppose. I've never been much into blood & guts, but I've always been really interested in how, with a slight twist in word-choice, you can imply the darkness in a human soul. It's the real horrors of what humans are, and can be, that I find more terrifying than any fantastical creature that goes bonk in the night.

      I don't think I'd want to spend an entire novel in this girl's head.

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  14. A different, engrossing story for sure. I felt that the girl had an unhealthy obsession with James and wanted to be in the woods without Alex around. Whether it leads to something good or bad, hard to say.

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    1. Thanks :)

      ...as I've said, I think I'm incapable of writing a sweet story :)

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  15. I had to read your sidebar again. You did say you don't write romance. This was some of the best dark romance I've ever read. Very subtle; yet powerful.

    I get this.

    Impressive for so few words. I hope it finds a publishing home.

    .........dhole

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    1. Heh, any romantic relation I write tends to involve obsession, abuse, stalkers, murderers, etc.

      So, if I'm allowed to count those... I suppose I do touch on romantic subplots. They just are never romanticized.

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  16. I love this. You set 'em up, and we all knock 'em down - and I bet we all choose a different way to do it.

    I know you say you find the girl most disturbing, but to me, James is the most disturbing of all three. In my mind, Alex likes her but can't let James know, but on the way back he's protecting her from ... something.

    Ah, imagination. It's a wonderful thing :-)

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  17. This is why I usually end my stories like this... with plenty of room for the reader to extrapolate.

    In my mind, it's the girl driving their little killing sprees in the forest. She has a fascination with death which is why she's so eager to go into the woods, and why they never bring the dead animal out of the woods.

    Okay, there's way more to that, but I don't want to write an explanation of my thoughts which will end up being longer than the flash-fiction piece ;)

    Yeah, I'm an incurable overthinker...

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  18. We picked the same picture. :-) I almost forgot about this blogfest so mine is extremely short. This is a very intriguing story and I love how you ended it. I felt like something really bad was coming and definitely want to read more.

    Here is my blonde joke for you:

    Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

    After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

    The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

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    1. Oooh! Awesome! I haven't had time to read them all yet, but hope to get to the rest of them today. It's been crazy... keep getting kicked out of the house for showings/etc. and getting ready to go away for the weekend.

      YOU are my new favourite person! You're the first person to treat me to a blonde joke in the comments box!

      Hahahahahhah! That's a great one!

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Type me out a line of Shakespeare or a line of nonsense. Dumb-blonde-jokes & Irish jokes will make me laugh myself silly :)