Thanks to a writing buddy sending me an email today with a list of questions, a few things clicked together and I finally see.
Yes, see.
I'm a visual writer, but that is probably not surprising since I recently posted a bunch of old animation stuff, like story boards, etc. I see the scenes play out, I watch the characters interact, I pay attention to the body language, the dynamics between them.
Every person has different body language, and so do characters.
Most of the time, we don't pay attention to our own body language unless we're controlling it, doing something on purpose, or not doing something on purpose. Jay only thinks about his own body language when he's trying to read the situation, and manipulate it to his advantage.
Two problems with that. Kell doesn't speak much, and her movement is very stop-start. I don't mean she's jerky, I mean either she's very still, or she's in motion. There isn't much in between with her.
Now, those are problems both for Jay, and for me.
But I have a better picture of Kell's movements now. It's too hard to link back on my phone, but when I posted the first couple bits of raw, first-draft writing, there was mention of her fluidity of movement.
Want a new snippet? It's from a 'floating' scene that is further ahead, so far unconnected to what I've written in order...
Tell me what you think of her, based on how she moves. Yes, total first-draft, no editing yet. Critiques are welcome of course, as usual:
'alights' Oh, nice ;) I really like this voice in this: it seems tonally somewhat similar to Break Fluid (in the twisted nature of the character's relationship, rather than the voice proper) so will be very interested in how different it ends up being.
ReplyDeleteSince Jay is an artist, I've given myself permission to write as much beautiful description as I want... And will pare it back during edits ;)
DeleteAlcar, when have I ever written anything without a twisted relationship? O_o
If I was to compare the characters to BF, I'd say Jay is like Jackson and Kell is like Triss.
...and yes in aware of how lazy I am with naming characters ;) soon they will ALL be one syllable names! Bwahahahahahahhaahaahaha
Glad you figured it out. I wish I could think like you do.
ReplyDeleteAs to the excerpt - I still don’t like Jay but that’s neither here nor there. You’re asking about Kell. Observant, intelligent and speaks her mind. She appears in this snippet confident.yes Kell and Triss, but Jackson and Jay? I take that back - Kell not like Triss
Jay has a similar sense of entitlement to Jackson, but they aren't the same person, not do they react the same way... But I can always define any of my characters by one or two words, and 'entitlement' works for both.
DeleteSame with Kell & Triss, there is an aspect of introversion and self-reliance that is a little similar. Again, not the same characters by a long shot, but a similarity in how they think and make decisions.