Monday, June 20, 2011

Subtly in silence or in-action

This is something I always think about when writing.

...I'm not claiming to achieve it as skillfully as the author highlighted here, but it is something I am actively aware of.

Again, this tendency (awareness?) may partially be a product of my earlier training/work in animation. Body language fascinates me. How far apart people stand when they talk, where they look, what their hands do, preoccupation with personal space in elevators, on public transit or in movie theaters... I'm interested in all this kind of stuff and I often try to incorporate it into scenes.

Here are a couple snippets (in chronological order) from Project #2 where (hopefully) what's important comes across. One of my critique pals says my writing is too subtle, but the other one gets it.

 Feel free to add comments/make suggestions.


  1. Your writing is beautifully evocative, and it's obvious that it's your 'voice' shining through. You seem to have a good handle on that. :)

    And speaking of CPs, not all of them get it. I love writing about body language too, and sometimes I can chronicle every little move because each one of them can have tremendous significance. One of my former CPs didn't get it and told me to cut to the chase, remove extraneous detail, make it a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinda thing. While it's true that you should trim any excess, if I stripped it all, I would've lost my voice and would be writing dry as sand prose.
    So all to say there's a fine line between too much and what constitutes your voice. If you've found the latter, stick to your guns. :)

  2. Wow, thanks! Since I've only got a group of 2 CP's, it's always a little difficult when they disagree, 'cause I never know if there's actually a problem or not... so I really appreciate you weighing in.

    Personally, I hated having to add this line: " Like she couldn’t quite bear to touch her" to the second selection 'cause it seems too obvious.

    Oh well :)


Type me out a line of Shakespeare or a line of nonsense. Dumb-blonde-jokes & Irish jokes will make me laugh myself silly :)